Just can't muster any chemistry with him...

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Just can't muster any chemistry with him...
Thu, 08-02-2012 - 12:21am

OK, so I am about out of hormones for the photographer, if indeed I ever had one.  Two dates and I forget to respond to his text messages for hours; he doesn't call, doesn't actively engage me mentally and doesn't make efforts to ask me out.  But he does make frequent contact, giving me a blow by blow of his day.  I don't like him well enough to care.  I'm going to stop responding.

The Dutchman and I have had several long texts in the last week and I am just too weary to care anymore.

The beloved, gorgeous SA told me today that I am a "truly wonderful" woman. He was responding to something I did  that got some media this morning but a lot of people said that today, so it wasn't such a big deal, he was just parroting them.  Still, it felt amazing to have someone I really like say something sweet.  But he's been back since the 22nd and has not taken any steps to come see me or invite me to see him.  So however wonderful I am, I guess it isn't wonderful enough.  Makes me sad.

And then, there's my "special friend" - one whom I hadn't seen in 2 months. We went out for coffee yesterday and it was like the Fourth of July!  I've never felt more chemistry with him than yesterday - I was longing to get my hands on him. So he's coming tomorrow afternoon and I will get what I want and that will suffice for a while.  I told him that when he finally moves out of the hellish situation he's in, he can move in with me.  He said he would.  I think they are at the end, from the way he's talking now.  Five years of waiting for him will pay off - but here's the weird part.  The idea of him showing up on my doorstep with his suitcase and his internal baggage completed terrifies me in real life.  Imagine! In one fell swoop, I could have a live-in boyfriend.  True, he's the most compatible man I know, and one of my best friends, but he's not very good in bed and he's 59 and he's sort of leftover hippie style although he has a great consulting business.  I can't imagine how dramatically my life will change when that happens.  And I'm pretty sure it will happen!  I've offered him refuge before, knowing full well he'd not take me up on it, but I can see he's snapped and it has changed.  He told me last week they sat down and talked about separating their assets.  It's been 9 years since they made love, because that's how long ago she confessed to multiple affairs.  

I guess be careful what you wish for in life.  


Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010

Fake?  I know the posts did not come from a fake person.  As some others have noted there are people who are magnets.  Most of us do not have those skills.  I have see men and women who for whatever reason drew a crowd of admirers.  Most of the human population does not have that ability.  As we get older the ability to make friends slows.  When it comes to lovers it grinds to frozen molasses.  But that is somewhat true for most of humanity.  Those who have that ability are not fake they have a very different approach to living that is so very different than most of us.

  Also I have lived in LA and it is a very different place.  I worked in the art and entertainment universe and I can say that her LA is much the same as my experiences there.


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2012

And yet, I know a few women who are not Beautiful but cute enough, who are not without male companionship.  Overweight, skinny or inbetween.... 

I am not saying the 'relationships' they have are healthy but they just keep attracting all sorts of men.  Some more accomplished or together than others.

I have been 'single' for all these years but wasn't always alone.  I can totally see where a strong woman who is willing to have sex would be attractive to men.

Like I said, not healthy relationships.    It's been since Thanksgiving that I had good sex,  March since I tried with someone.  Had I come here a few years ago, I would have had all sorts of trolls to tell you all about!

And if you think about it....most of the guys talked about by M were not what they appeared to be in the beggining.   

In fact, there is probably no way in Hades a man with bigger boobs than myself would be dancing in the sheets.

Just saying..... 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

I have a friend who is really beautiful--she could be a model, but in reality she's a high school math teacher.  She's 45 but looks younger, very tall & slim.  I have been out with her & it's amazing--I was walking behind her in a club when we were heading to the ladies' room--we had to walk by a bar--the head of every man at the bar turned to look at her and they almost fell off their bar stools.  So I do think that some people have that magnetic quality.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008

well I do feel kinda bad and sad at the same time and also jealous and overwhelmed and a bunch of emotions regarding this stuff.

I mean who is to know what is true and not true although the posts did at times sound a bit outrageous but then I think I have never lived in L.A. so maybe that is what goes on there amongst the famous crowd.. I know when I watch the Kardashians they have that kind of life.. I have been to L.A. but it was years ago and I didnt pay much attention to the people but then again I live in NY and we have a strange bunch of people here .. I have though however never seen any woman attract so many men but who knows? If a woman is tall and beautiful and smart and sexy and looks really good  maybe that does happen? All I know is that I dont hang out with that type of crowd.. I am the more beer and pretzel type and amongst the worker bees of the world. I dont even know any rich people although I am surrounded by them I dont really hob nob with any of them.. Heck; I live in a very affluent town filled with money and gorgeous houses and snobs and all of that but they dont want to speak to me and I dont care of their arrogance.

To be honest I think we all are a bit jealous and caddy even if just for a minute and maybe just maybe we would like to see what it was like to have that kind of life. I do know that you cfk are gorgeous and I can bet you can get a man asap but I digress. Oh; and Music you could also but I have no idea why you guys are single so then it cant be the looks right? I do think though both of you have great qualities aside from looks so maybe its not being in the right place at the right time. Heck; maybe Marina went out all day long and gave out cards saying she was looking for a relationship and men were attracted to her.. how would we know cause we werent there.. or  maybe she is a movie star or famous singer and everyone flocked to her.

Oh; well. yes time to  move on and dont fame me.. Me speak from the heart.. I love all of you no matter what.. (ha ha)

Good Day!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 08-03-2012 - 10:44am

Well I don't know if what Marina wrote is true or not but I don't really care.  I found the posts to be very entertaining & they started a lot of interesting discussions so what is the harm?  We could all be making up stuff about ourselves since it's an anonymous board. It's not like OLD where you expect to meet people in real life & have a relationship w/ them so you hope everything they say is true.  It's not hurting anyone. 

I just met up with some friends from high school & one guy is an air traffic controller--right now he is working on Long Island and he was talking about how he was going to a party at Jimmy Buffet's house & met Steve spielberg too.  I know he wasn't making that up--and who would think a guy from little RI would end up hanging around w/ famous movie stars? 

Marina, I do agree that life in LA or NYC is very different from the rest of the country esp if you have a certain life style where you hang around w/ business executives and wealthy people and you're single and attractive.