just curious in who is single by choice

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2006
just curious in who is single by choice
7
Mon, 12-18-2006 - 5:56am
i am really curious
in who is really single by choice
or single by circumstance
i am tired of people i dont know tell me to just go out and date
as if i can just go the grocery store and shop for one
well there are sites such as eharmony.com
and you dont see all the thousands upon thousands of failure stories on those commercials
that they show the same 4 couples
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Mon, 12-18-2006 - 8:35am

I am single by choice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Mon, 12-18-2006 - 11:01am
I'm single by choice. I've never been very interested in getting married. I enjoy being in a relationship when I'm in one, but I don't need to be in one to be happy.


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2006
Wed, 12-27-2006 - 10:00pm

i agree with sisfox... you don't need another's heart to fill complete love.

Besides, there's your parents/siblings/friends/co-workers that you need to have relationship with. Another person in your life is just too much drama. And for me, I'm at a point in my life where I am prioritizing my school/work/spirituality/self-discovery agendas and don't want any guy to ruin it for me. PLUS, i'm neither THAT attractive nor care to look good to get a guy that would just end up cheating on me, so... single by choice is not an option... for me at the very least

random iVillager, eReader_k007 "Life's a triOp. Tie your shoelAces"
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Thu, 12-28-2006 - 2:50pm
I guess it's kind of hard to define what "single by choice" means since I know Stacey said that she's single by choice because she got out of an unhealthy relationship and I fell into that category before I met my current guy I'm with but I wasn't necessarily single by choice. I would have wanted to have met someone who was the right one for me and I wasn't wanting to be single per say, I just was in a category in which I would have rather have been single than to have been in the wrong relationship where I was unhappy or faking things just to be in a relationship. I think a lot of us fall into this category, but I do think there are some that would rather be single and don't even want to put dating as a priority because other things in their life are more important and relationships are too much hassle for them. I was somewhere in the middle of wanting to stay in an unhealthy relationship because of not wanting to be alone and just not wanting to put any effort into finding a relationship because I would rather be alone. I chose not to be with any of the previous guys I was dating but I really wanted to meet the one for me and didn't "choose" the fact that I hadn't met the right person.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2004
Fri, 12-29-2006 - 7:06pm
I guess I'm sort of single by choice. I mean, if I really really needed to be in a relationship I could because a few of my friends have offered to fix me up with guys who all sound nice but they're just not my type-- ie, fat and bald, divorced with kids, too old, too short ( as in if I wear heels they come up to my chin) etc. If I really needed to be with someone and just wanted to get married and get it over with I guess I could just go for one of these guys and get used to them as they are, but I don't want that so I've told my friends no thank you. I think there are a lot of women out there who would just go for these guys because they want someone badly enough but I can't bring myself to do that. I'd feel like I'm taking table scraps.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2006
Sun, 12-31-2006 - 11:48am

iv only recently became single but i chose to be single... i mean i wasnt happy anymore and i thought it was time to be single, do wot i want,

I like the thought of freedom no attachments.. being able to go out an have fun without a partner or even having the thought that i have one

0

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2006
Mon, 01-01-2007 - 3:40pm

Hey there,

Yes, I truly believe that people can be single by choice. I was one of them for a very long time. I had been in two serious relationships that both ended the same way. Although, it was my choice to end the first one, both guys did the same thing. After that, I was not sure how to handle a relationship without that fear of being hurt again and had some major trust issues. I agree with some of the other posts that there are guys out there if you really are desperate to be in a realtionship, that you can be. But, you have to make sure that the guy is right for you. I have met many guys over the years, but for some reason either I pushed them away, or they just weren't right. I too have people saying to me - just go out, and no, you cant just pick one up at the grocery store! As much as I thought that I wanted a relationship, I realized that if I were interested in a guy, that I did everything to push them away, or if a guy was interested in me 1st, I wanted nothing to do with them. Took me a while to realize that I just did not WANT a realtionship & that I wanted to be alone, and not deal with everything that goes with relationships and just do what I wanted when I wanted. I do feel differently now, but yes, I did want to be single. Don't let the people who say things get to you. Its your life, and your choice, not thiers. People seem to think that you have to be in a realtionship to be happy, but that is not true. Being in an unhealthy realationship just to not be single is not good either - I'd rather be single than wish I was.