Kcole?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2007
Kcole?
11
Tue, 10-02-2007 - 1:06pm

Did you have any thoughts in regard to my questions, here...


http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlsinglelovi&msg=8363.31&x=y


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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2007
In reply to: luvmansbestfriend
Sun, 10-21-2007 - 4:55pm
Does this person still post here?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
In reply to: luvmansbestfriend
Mon, 10-22-2007 - 11:25am

Yes, I am here. I check in daily, I just have not posted a reponse in a while. My life has been spinning me in way too many directions lately.

That post was awhile ago. I am sorry, what was the question?

KCole

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2007
In reply to: luvmansbestfriend
Mon, 10-22-2007 - 12:22pm

I hope things are okay for you?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
In reply to: luvmansbestfriend
Mon, 10-22-2007 - 1:05pm

1) How long should a person be in therapy? Can dependence on therapy be created? When is enough therapy enough, I'm sure therapist would LOVE to have lifelong clients but is that fair?

As counselors in training, we're told the length of therapy depends on the client. They are the ones who control the therapy, because it's their work to get through.

Dependance should not be created and a good counselor will teach clients ways to help themselves, so they don't become dependant on the counselor. Therapy in general (unless it's psychotherapy which is long) should be short term. Enough to get the client back on their feet. If the client deciedes they want to use the counselor for life long, that is the client's choice, not the therapist's. Unless, however, the client has debilitating disorders, such as Schizophrenia, then drug therapy along with Psychotherapy would be life long.

2) Figuring those who seek therapy have lifelong learned "stuff" - how realistic is it to think we can unlearn or change? Is it possible there are just some things we can't change or unlearn/relearn? Could it be a personality type that can't seem to incorporate new, healthy ways of doing things? As the song says "wherever you go ... there YOU are". Is it possible some things are just ingrained in us?

It is realistic to think that people can change. They just have to WANT to change enough and do the work that goes along with it. Becoming aware of our issues is the first step. Does therapy "change" a person. No. But what it does do is make them aware of the things they're doing that are holding them back and give them suggestions on how to deal with these issues. It's up to the CLIENT to want to change and keep up the work.

I don't feel actual personality types can actually really change significatly. However, people do mature and grow up and do have subtle changes in the way they deal with things and react to things. However, an outgoing person will most likely remain outgoing and a reserved person will most likely remain reserved most their lives with small variances here and there over the course of their life.

I do believe some things are just ingrained in us. That's why Nature vs. Nuture theory is still so strong. Basically both are true, believing that our psyche is made up partly of our past experiences and also the genes we carry.

Let me know if there are any other questions.

KCole

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
In reply to: luvmansbestfriend
Mon, 10-22-2007 - 3:24pm

"Because I do believe that some dependence is created and I love that my therapist calls to check on me when I've gone a while without making an appointment"

Counselors are supposed to "check in" from time to time for a couple of reasons and it has nothing to do with trying to create more dependance or to get you to come back in....

Counselors will check in because it is a part of the ethic standards. They are there to open yourself up to, not only learning the good things, but also the bad things in our lives. Because of this, they should check in from time to time just to see how you are doing. They're not trying to force you to come in, but it is a part of the guidelines that they should do follow up phone calls.

As well, the "checking in" is also supposed to make the client feel that somebody is thingking about them. You know how you get when your grandma or a good friend calls just to see how you are doing? That kind of goes along with the check in. They want you to know they're thinking of you and see how you are doing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2007
In reply to: luvmansbestfriend
Tue, 10-23-2007 - 2:40pm

Can I make an outside observation? A lot of what you described regarding the conversation you would have with a therapist

We in America do not have government by the majority. We have government by the majority who participate.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2007
In reply to: luvmansbestfriend
Wed, 10-24-2007 - 11:26am

Lots of good points!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
In reply to: luvmansbestfriend
Wed, 10-24-2007 - 1:48pm

I like to think of colunseling in this manner.... Nobody questions anyone about going and getting yearly check ups, just to make sure all is well with their health. It's shown being proactive with your health leads to a longer and heathier life, right? Well, I feel the same way about counseling. There is nothing wrong with going here and there, just to check in with your emotional health. Life if difficult and there is nothing wrong with wanting a little help and guidance along the way.

I really do wish more people would seeing counseling in this manner, instead of the stigma that is usually attached to it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2007
In reply to: luvmansbestfriend
Wed, 10-24-2007 - 1:57pm

Jarhead... I'm really sorry but I'm not sure I understand what you are saying.

We in America do not have government by the majority. We have government by the majority who participate.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2007
In reply to: luvmansbestfriend
Thu, 10-25-2007 - 11:09am

Okay, I think I understand what you are saying now. You're right, I don't have a serious mental disorder. Sometimes I wish I did, it might make the fact that I find life so hard... easier to deal with!

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