Kind of long.....need advice.
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| Mon, 07-23-2007 - 2:18am |
I met a guy in college my sophomore year. He was in two of my classes. We hit it off as friends but didn't pursue anything else because I was living with my boyfriend at the time. I could tell he liked me though and I had a little crush on him as well. Fast forward to the summer before my senior year. I hadn't seen him in awhile and he ends up in one of my summer school classes. We hit it off again and actually even hung out a few times, but I later learned he was in the beginning stages of a relatinoship with a girlfriend. The timing was so off. We talked randomly online while he was with her but all the while I really liked him. Finally, a few months ago he broke up with that girlfriend and we've been talking online a lot ever since. We always talked about how we needed to hang out but we never really did. Then one night I drunkenly told him about my feelings for him and about (eek) other ways I had thought of him and he said he had always been attracted to me as well. We never really talked about that night since but ever since then he's been a lot more flirtatious when we talk. He is always saying I should come over.....but then never really invites me. He just says the invitation is open whenever, and that is how it is at his house. People jsut come and go as they please. But I don't really know his friends and I'm not the type of person to just drop in without a specific invitation.
Then, the other night he asked me what I had been up to and I told him I had been hanging out with this guy I had met. The very next night he asked me if I was still coming to his BBQ and I said yes. (This was by text message and he never text messages me). I asked him what to bring and he said to bring my beautiful self. Then, the next night he asked me if I wanted to come over and hang out. He NEVER has asked me to come over before except hypothetically.
So, I went over there and had a great time hanging out with his friends and him. He was very open and funny and having a great time. That was yesterday. Then today was his BBQ and all these people were over. When I drove up to his house his ex was standing in the driveway. It looked like she was moving out of the duplex next door or something. She kept staring me down the whole time. I don't even know if she knows who I am! Anyway, when I get inside the guy is acting all quiet and weird. Then he seemed to be pretty much quiet and uptight the whole day. I am sick of trying to figure out what the hell is going on in his head! He tells me he likes me, we have great times together, but then he acts like this when I'm trying to be all light-hearted and stuff. I wouldn't care so much if I hadn't had a crush on him for the past few years and if I didn't know there was SOME mutual attraction. I know I should just give up but I really like him and I think he likes me. I wish we could just be alone together sometime. Today seemed really awkward and we hardly talked at all. I was talking to all his friends and he was all over the place.

It sounds to me like there is something still dangling with the ex. Have they actually broken up and she is moving? Were they living together? Anyway, it sounds like with the ex situation he felt uncomfortable around his friends, you know, how to explain who you are (even though you aren't really dating).
Only time will tell. I see nothing wrong with giving this more time, but I think the ball is in his court. He's going to need to give you a more clear signal. I don't know how old the two of you are: are you still in college? I'm wondering why he doesn't just ask you out. "Coming over to hang out" just doesn't sound like much of a date to me. It's been a long time since I was in college, so maybe people just don't date anymore. (Of course, when I was in college, a date could be "Come to my room and smoke a joint." Real romantic.)
Good luck!
How did you know it was his ex?
It sounds like there are still some issues with them, but you won't know unless you ask.
Could it be that he is just shy?