Kobe Bryant off topic

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Registered: 10-08-2003
Kobe Bryant off topic
9
Wed, 10-15-2003 - 5:58pm
I know that this is way off topic but I was just reading about the Kobe Bryant case. Being as I am in Colorado there is a lot of coverage here. I have the oppinion that she consented and then backed off when she realized what she had done. That or she saw dollar signs. I really don't think he forced himself upon her. He has admitted to everything and her story keeps changing along with all of the evidence found that he was not forceful with her. What does everyone else think?

~Chloekins
Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 10-15-2003 - 6:55pm
I think that in our star-crazed society with an emphasis on power, appearance and $$....he was "nice" to her at the desk, she flirted back. Now obviously he's got the same "problem" - he believes that being a star exempts him from conducting himself with character and honor. He flirted back.

They did the flirtation dance, in a seductive atmosphere, and I firmly believe she consented to sex. I also firmly believe nobody discussed this was "just sex"...and I can also easily see (given I work around basketball players and football players) that she might have interpreted some of his moves as aggressive and intimidating when they're just "average moves" for him. Strong, athletic, aggressive PEOPLE (women fall into this category) tend to take charge, control, and "pursue" with a little more abandon than the average Joe or Jolene.....and I can see that having this very large, very strong, very athletic and skilled with his body (not sexually per se) man on top of her hit home the awareness "hey, there is vulnerability in this action".

Perception is reality, each individual has their own perception of each situation. It's like the "gossip" game where 20 people sit in a circle and the first one whispers something in the one beside them's ear...and it goes around and when it gets back to the person who started it - it's NOTHING like what they said. People have put spins, interpretations, assumptions and projections onto it until it's NOTHING like what was originally stated.

What has the potential to be a real negative blow, if indeed Kobe was just being himself and not aggressive and she did consent (and her reputation/character is in question), is that the very thing he has sought, and prioritized, and honed - his fame -is going to be what ends him up in the slammer or much poorer.

Because if Kobe had been a nobody.....would this girl have done what she did? Only HER PAST ACTIONS indicate whether that would be accurate.....and even then you're projecting her past actions into this particular situation. Because something tells me that before Kobe was a "somebody" he was fully able and capable and did "sleep around", he might not have been married.....can't say that for sure.

He cheated on his wife, that was wrong. He slept with someone who's by far less life experienced than him....knowing his position and status in society is one that tends to overwhelm others and gets him what he wants...he lacks character for engaging in this activity - "just because he can".

Should he go to jail for sex with a 19 year old.....I have an entirely different view than most people in that if within the paramers of the law they cannot find her to be incompetent....I don't think he should. At 19, you're a consenting adult and without overwhelming proof other than her statement that she was forced, I don't believe that we should convict him of rape. If they find her to be someone mentally and emotionally unstable, and I'd question that seriously but itis possible, then he shouldn't be jailed for having sex with someone that is of age to consent, and that willingly participated up to an extreme degree and then perhaps "said no". If that is what happened - "date rape" is more appropriate of a charge and that is rarely more than a fineable offense.

Erin

quickblade14@hotmail.com

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Registered: 03-28-2003
Thu, 10-16-2003 - 7:53am
I don't know what paper you've been reading, but I read on CNN that the person who examined her said her injuries "were not consistent with consensual sex". Not only that, but when he was first arrested, Bryant denied even having sex with her. Perhaps he "forgot" he had sex with her just like he forgot that there would be forensic evidence to back it up. I don't think that its impossible that he committed sexual assault because the more money people get, the more they tend to think they can get away with. It's unfair, but money can often buy people immunity from being convicted of a crime. I don't know if he committed sexual assault or not and I would hate to be on the jury for this trial. How can the jury know for sure since she didn't go straight to the police after it happened? I think I remember reading that she told someone at the hotel that she had been raped right after it happened, but in the end people will probably believe the "sports hero" rather than the victim. I will be very surprised if Bryant does not go free. Iri
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Registered: 08-07-2003
Thu, 10-16-2003 - 10:35am
You could be right about that . . . but I have to say that I have a hard time believing that she would subject herself to death threats, harassment, doubts, questions about her character, her name being dragged through the mud and being reported all over the Internet - if there was nothing to her story. There are much easier, and safer, ways to make $ than a rape allegation. I think that there are instances of false rape allegations - but it is MUCH less common than people seem to think, and much more often rapists go free, either b/c they're not prosecuted or b/c rape cases are incredibly hard to prove.

I don't know if he's guilty or not. As Iri said, I have also read that her injuries were not consistent w/consensual sex. My take is that there are only two people who know what really happened, and hopefully at trial the truth will come out.

One more thing - I don't think that her story has changed one bit. I think that MEDIA REPORTS of her story might have changed, but I haven't heard where she said one thing and then later backtracked. I think the police report shows there might have been some confusion about whether she actually said no, but the detective clarified that she said she did say no.

ginger

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Registered: 08-07-2003
Thu, 10-16-2003 - 10:47am
"he shouldn't be jailed for having sex with someone that is of age to consent, and that willingly participated up to an extreme degree and then perhaps "said no"."

Erin - I believe I've read that under Colorado law, this is still rape. If someone says no at ANY point & the other person doesn't stop, it's rape. So whether you agree w/the law or not, if this is what happened, then he committed a crime.

"At 19, you're a consenting adult and without overwhelming proof other than her statement that she was forced, I don't believe that we should convict him of rape."

I believe that the physical evidence has been determined to be inconsistent w/ consensual sex. So it's not just her word against his.

I don't know how you concluded that she consented. I personally don't know what happened, all I can do is speculate. My guess is that you think that she did an unwise thing by going to his hotel room, and that b/c she did this she probably consented. I cannot agree w/that. Sure, in retrospect it wasn't the wisest choice to go to his room. But the fact that she made a bad choice doesn't absolve him of rape, if in fact he did rape her. People make bad decisions all the time - that doesn't give others the right to commit crimes against them. If I forget to lock my door, or choose not to b/c I'm only going to be gone for a few minutes - that would be a bad decision, but that doesn't mean that I want a burglar to break into my house, and it doesn't mean that the burglar didn't commit a crime.

ginger

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Registered: 10-08-2003
Thu, 10-16-2003 - 11:03am
Then I have a question. If it is consensual at the beginning and the girl says no and he actually does stop they have still committed the act of sex and therefore is it still rape? I hope that made sense.

And with light of the new evidence, there was caucasion sperm and pubic hair found on the underwear she was wearing to the hospital for her exam, they are saying that the tearing found on her walls and the bleeding could be caused by numerous sexual activities and that he has had no physical evidence that he or she was forced. IF I was ever being rape I would bite, kick, scream, scratch. He would almost have to kill me just get me to stop. But there would be evidence.
Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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Registered: 08-07-2003
Thu, 10-16-2003 - 11:15am
Hi,

I'm not sure I understand your question, but I believe that if she says no and he stops, that's not rape.

As for how you would react - everyone reacts differently. I took a self-defense class offered by the police dept. awhile ago where they actually perform a simulated attack on you and you have to fight to get away. One of the reasons they do this is b/c they said that it is incredibly common for a person, the first time they're attacked, to freeze. But once you've practiced fighting back, you are more likely to instinctually do it the next time you're attacked.

Like I said, though, I really have no idea what happened in that room. I only responded to your post b/c I think there are two sides to this story and thought both should be represented here.

ginger

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2003
Thu, 10-16-2003 - 11:24am
Nice to meet you Ginger.

I don't know either. I just like to speculate. I hope he didn't. Not because he is a celebrity or because of the media. But because she will have to deal with it for the rest of her life. It would be worse to deal with that then public humiliation.

I never thought of the fact that I could freeze up. I may have to go take a class like that.
Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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Registered: 08-07-2003
Thu, 10-16-2003 - 11:36am
Hi Chloekins, nice to meet you too. :-)

I highly recommend taking a self-defense class, esp one offered through the police dept. The one I took was free and I think many jurisdictions offer the same program for free. It was a great experience, and the teachers are actual police officers, so they offer a lot of real-life safety tips. They teach you specific things to do if someone has you held down in specific types of holds, etc. And when they do the simulated attack, they don't go easy on you, so you really get tested. When I did the simulation, I knew it was coming, but I still froze for a second - then fought and kicked and screamed. Hopefully if I were ever really attacked, I wouldn't freeze.

Now that I'm writing this I'm realizing that I've forgotten a lot of the stuff I learned, maybe I need to take it again!

ginger

Avatar for cl_shywon
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Registered: 03-20-2003
Thu, 10-16-2003 - 12:18pm

I am really not following the case because I honestly don't care what happened between them.