Lack of Communication
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| Fri, 07-07-2006 - 12:18pm |
So I've been seeing Mr. Insecure Music Producer for 3 months now and while we have a blast while together (he's openly affectionate, holding my hand, kissing me, flirting etc.) the communications between dates has dropped to next to nothing...unless I initiate.
Of course we started out emailing back and forth all day, every day the first few weeks. Then go into texting to let each other know we were thinking of each other. But in the past few weeks, it's fallen into my hands solely. After great date, I usually have to email or send a text or something after not hearing from him after 3 days. He usually responds right away and seems eager and attentive to what I want, but I hate having to always be the initiator.
To be fair, his job went from full-time to freelance so he's not in front of a computer as much as I am, but no texts or calls either.
When we are together, he acts all about me, but in between, it's like he waits for me then responds. It makes me feel forgotten about until I remind him.
I'd bring it up but he let me know after our first date that he keeps very busy (he has several side projects that keep him running around) and I've already had several talks with him and don't wanna be a nag. But I dunno, makes me feel like I'm chasing a half-interest.
Just reason number #12897584785 wh I hate casual dating.

I would stop initiating any contact at all and see what happens. If he doesn't contact you without being prompted, then yes, I'd say he's not all that interested.
Sheri
Well, I have done that and I do eventually hear from him (usually trying to see me) but it can days, sometimes 3-4.
You know what, I think I'm just extra stressed right now becuase I have a very sick cat and am expecting a very bad diagnosis and maybe I'm getting panicky about everything else. I just emailed him and told him what is going on and he expressed that he was sorry and said to let him know if there is anything he can do.
Disregard this thread.
I agree with Sheri.
First, I will not disregard your concerns!
I'm sorry to hear about your cat! I know that would stress me out, too. I hope you get better news than you are expecting.
And as for the guy, I'm with Shy...I'd be pretty much ok with a guy contacting me that often and wouldn't assume that he wasn't that interested (I read your post to say that he wouldn't contact you, period). But everyone's different...you need to decide if you can be ok with it, because if you've mentioned it to him and he's not doing anything different, he's basically saying this is how he is, take it or leave it.
Sheri
Thanks, Shy. I think I am again over thinking things because I'm already upset about my kitten (serious kidney situation, stil waiting for lab results). I then noticed I hadn't heard from him in 3 days (and after another great evening together) and got a little salty.
I do like a lot of communication and talk to my closest peeps daily, so in comparison, it makes him seem less interested. But on further review he did contact me last Sat. night, only 2 days after out last date and invited me to his cookout Tuesday, where he held me and flirted with me in front of all his friends (who are already calling me his girl) so once again, I need to stop freaking out and just chill and have fun.
You know I have to have this pep talk with myself every single week?
I think you have to have the repeated pep talk because your self-esteem is coming from other people.
I believe in the original post it was said that this guy was insecure, well if that is true I think I have insight into what is going on since I am expert at insecurities of men lol.
I have not called girls simply because I dont want to seem to eager and I also believe that if they wanted to talk to me they'd call me, so if they arent calling me they must not want to talk, so I dont call. If I was wrong about him being an insecure guy then disregard that.