Lack of Motivation

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2003
Lack of Motivation
Sat, 09-06-2003 - 5:01pm
Been awhile since I have been on these boards, but I wanted to check in and read some of the posts that I have missed. I have been single pretty much since March and have had this total lack of motivation since then. I am 27 years old and sit home every night and every weekend lounging on the couch and being a total bum.. There are things that I would like to do, but cant get the energy to do them. I don't know if its because i dont have "anyone" to do them with or if the problem lies deeper. I was with my ex for 2 years and since we have broken up i have been a recluse.. I think its normal for a little bit, but I dont know..

I want to get out there and meet people but when I do go out I have no fun and all I want to do is get back home.. Its like a "frightening" experience for me or something.. I dont know..

Any advice or similar expereinces?



Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sat, 09-06-2003 - 7:02pm
I think that given you haven't been broken up that long, it's normal to feel like you don't want to date just yet. I can relate to your weekends and lack of motivation. Like you, when I go out, I generally don't have as much fun as expected. I don't like bars, and I prefer to go to parties held by friends instead of random places with lots of strangers. That really doesn't happen much after college! I feel like there's no point, ya know? If I really want to get out of my apartment, I'll go window shopping or something during the day. I guess I just don't feel like I have to have lots of dates or go out drinking on the weekends to have a full life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2003
Mon, 09-08-2003 - 4:03pm
I think first, you gotta WANNA.

Sometimes it takes more time than you realize to find "your way back." I just divorced on May 30, and I STILL feel like a truck hit me. I've not "re-socialized" yet--not just b/c I don't feel like it, or b/c I just bought a house and I'm still settling in, but I'm still awaiting surgery for both knees. The first is in Dec, and I'm really looking forward to it. The second will be early in the New Year, and once I'm totally healed, then I can think about a social life again.

Sometimes I think it was almost providential that I was injured the way I was; it gave me another focus besides my dumb broken heart. But time really does heal; maybe you need to give yourself that time as well.