Late bloomer

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2007
Late bloomer
2
Fri, 05-04-2007 - 4:03am

Hi everyone,
I am a 20 year old college student with an irritating problem.

I have had boyfriends for the past 5 years of my life. Because I am a pretty girl, I have never really had to work for these relationships. I have been lucky enough for these boys to immediately show interest and essentially guide the relationship.

However, my last relationship ended a few months ago and I am now single…for the first time since I was 15 years old. Being new to the single/dating scene, I have attempted to meet new guys and have fun. Unfortunately, I recently realized that I am VERY shy!! Because I have had boyfriends for so long, I suppose I never developed the necessary dating skills.

When meeting new people, I am very proper and cordial. I am frequently at a loss for words (or use inappropriately large words when speaking to “cool” frat guys, lol) and remain very uptight throughout the entire conversation. I am constantly thinking about how I look and what I say. In my college social scene, I feel that men strongly favor my friends with outgoing, flirtatious personalities.. regardless of physical appearance.

I have been told that I seem very wholesome and proper in appearance and demeanor. Although I do like myself and am proud of my intelligence and morals, I would like to be somewhat more relaxed and appealing. I feel that this is the time in my life that I should be relaxed and having fun. I wish I were able to do so.

If anyone has experienced something similar/ has any advice.. I would greatly appreciate it!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
In reply to: roscoe999
Fri, 05-04-2007 - 8:32am

I have a tendency to use "big words" sometimes, too, and sometimes I have to remind myself that not everyone knows what they mean, so when I'm in a social setting, I try to "know my audience" and, if necessary, remind myself to "keep it simple."

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
In reply to: roscoe999
Fri, 05-04-2007 - 12:34pm
Men are drawn to confidence. Well, I think everyone is actually. I don't think that they are going for these outgoing, flirtatious girls because of their wonderful personalities and intelligence. It's more likely due to the fact that these girls exude confidence. One can be proper and wholesome in appearance while still promoting a healthy sense of self. There is something innately sexy about someone who is completely at home in their own skin.


Edited 5/4/2007 2:00 pm ET by cfk_3