Late night thoughts...

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Late night thoughts...
4
Sat, 01-20-2007 - 11:04am

Do you ever just lay in bed and your mind starts wandering into weird thoughts?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2006
Sat, 01-20-2007 - 12:57pm

Hi,

I think that is a pretty good analogy. I will add, however, that just as it is a little absurd to keep a car that no longer works, it is absurd to cling to a relationship that has ceased to work. The problem with modern life is that we sometimes decide that something "doesn't work," rather hastily.

I was married for a bit more than 20 years, and I feel that I did the right thing to leave the marriage. My ex would have been willing to keep the dead car of our marriage in the driveway until one of us died, but he was not willing to take care of it, to give it some kind of life again. And one person can't work on a relationship alone. So I would say that it is not so much the "person" that becomes disposable in modern life but the relationship. My ex wasn't trying to get rid of me (not consciously) he just didn't want to work at the relationship after he decided that it didn't work for him.

In beginning to date again, I am noticing that a lot of men just don't want to put the effort into relationships. It was not obvious when I was young and the men were pushing to get me to go to bed with them. But it is obvious now, not only in my own case but in the case of my 20 year old daughter, who has had several boyfriends who don't give back as much as she gives them. She is a nurturing person, but not a fool.

Perhaps we should add to your car analogy that a lot of people don't want to buy a car, they prefer to lease so that they can have the car without any of the obligations that go with caring for it.

Elsa

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sat, 01-20-2007 - 6:28pm

I completely agree.

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Sun, 01-21-2007 - 12:27am

That's an interesting analogy, shy. I just traded in my thirteen year old car today. That car had been all over the east coast with me and also through many different phases, friends, relationships . . . I could go on and on. I don't mean to be cheesy or hijack your post. Reading it just made me a little sentimental, nostalgic. My poor old Honda. It will probably be sold for parts. I can't imagine that someone would want it, much less spend hard earned money for it, LOL.

Good analogy though!

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sun, 01-21-2007 - 11:01am

I was sentimental about my old car, too.