Leading him on?
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Leading him on?
| Tue, 02-21-2006 - 12:32pm |
I recently ended a relationship and am not looking to jump into another one. There is a guy that I have known for a few months who is really sweet, great guy that I want to hang out with as "just friends." He and I have emailed and seen each other in different circles and joked around and he sent me an email suggesting that we go to this movie that we both talked about wanting to see. I emailed him back and said that I'd love to go. Is it rude to go out with someone when you know that you just want to stay friends? Or am I giving him the wrong idea?



No, it's not rude, but you do want to avoid giving him mixed signals. Pay for yourself when you go out, don't flirt with him, etc. If he makes it clear he's interested in romance, just be straight with him...tell him you're flattered but you're interested in being platonic friends with him and that's it. You could also bring up your recent breakup in the course of your conversation and mention that you're not up for dating right now.
Sheri
AJ, enjoying life with C.
Make no mistake, your friend has asked you out on a date. Men do not make "friends" with women (unless its by accident). He likes you (I think you can sense this yourself). If you really want to avoid leading him on (or just getting his hopes up for that matter), find a way to tell him how you feel BEFORE going to the movie. You can just come out and say it, but be prepared for homeboy's ego to take over and for him to say something like, "why would you say that? I wasn't asking you out! I just wanted to hang out as your friend." This will be his attempt at saving face and maintaining his pride. Don't be fooled; you did the right thing.
You could also find some way to being it up in an "unrelated" conversation. Talk about a friend (real or make believe) and her relationship problems. Compare yourself to your friend, noting that "that's why I don't want anything to do with relationships right now. So, what time's the movie start?" He should get the hint. If he doesn't, that means he has one of those insane, cocky, rock star male egos, which is working 24-7 to convince him that YOU are in love with HIM. In this case, nothing you can say ("I'm gay, I'm an alien and I was born without sex organs, I'm the antichrist, etc." will convince him otherwise.
Good luck...