Life

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Life
5
Sun, 01-12-2014 - 5:04pm
I haven't posted much lately, mostly because I can't seem to stay signed in. It annoys me to have to try twice, then sometimes that doesn't even work. I've been reading everything, though. Trying to keep up on everyone else's lives. I figured I'd give an update on mine. I pretty much ended it with the guy I was dating. Things were good for about the first six weeks. He was attentive, caring, concerned- all the things he needed to be. Then he started spending time with his friends instead of with me. I'm fine with friend time, but he wasn't making me a priority and that was a problem. I talked to him about it and gave him some time to see if things changed. They did not. So I told him that I didn't have time to wait on him and my clock was ticking. (Not exactly like that, but you get the point.) it boiled down to him not wanting to commit yet, and I'm not willing to wait and see if he ever will. He wouldn't even meet my friends! After three months, I don't think that's too much to ask. I'm not upset. He was kind of emotionally draining. He still texts me once in awhile, but I'm not going to see him anymore. There wasn't an official "break up" moment, which seems odd. But I'm definitely not dating him anymore. There's another guy who just wants a casual (sexual) thing. I may have posted about him before. We had a brief fling back in May. Every once in awhile, he'll ask to see me. I haven't told him yes. Haven't ruled it out either. We hung out last night. We were both in the same karaoke contest (neither of us won...boo) then we went to IHOP- his friends and one of mine. I had a good time. I honestly probably know more about him than I do about the guy I was actually dating. His friend asked for my friend's number, too. He wanted to come over, but I told him it was too soon. He may not want a relationship, but he's always respectful and he's far more mature than the other guy, that's for sure. So that's what's going on with me. I'm actually kind of happy/relieved to be officially "single" because I missed flirting!!
Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
In reply to: shywon
Wed, 01-15-2014 - 8:36pm
Exactly! There's a secretary at work who has been divorced for quite some time now. She's 45 and quite attractive. She's just lost some weight and seems to really want to meet someone. She's come out with us twice this month. I don't think it's going to take her long to grab someone's attention now. Same thing happened with my other single friend. She started getting out, and she's met lots of men since. None have panned out, but the fact that they've been interested boosts her confidence, which helps when she does meet a good one.
Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
In reply to: shywon
Wed, 01-15-2014 - 2:18pm

I stay logged in okay as long as I'm on a desktop.  I still can't use the mobile site.  What's really bothering me right now is, I get literally like 20 script error message when I click on anything.  This happens both at home and on my pc at work. 

My thing is, if something is irking you now imagine 2 or 3 years down the line.  I don't think you were unreasonable.  If you want someone who wants to put you first in their life then that's what you deserve.  I don't care who you are, I think everyone likes to feel a little bit special.  I've stayed in r'ships in the past where I felt the same way you did - it's no fun feeling like your a persons 2nd, 3rd or 4th choice to hang out with . . . and while I'm at it, that goes for friends too.  When you are crazy about someone, you want to spend time with them, dang it.  When they don't reciprocate, it stinks!  I'm just glad that you are still out there flirting, going out and having fun!  That's the only way you're going to meet someone :)   

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
In reply to: shywon
Mon, 01-13-2014 - 9:15pm

Yeah...I knew something was awry when he said it was "too soon".  Heck, most guys I date know my friends within the first few dates because it's hard to make plans with everyone separately.  He's just too immature, I think.  Plus, all of his friends are single, so they want to keep him that way.  I'm really not upset about it at all.  In fact, he texted me an hour ago and I'm annoyed. 

I just cleaned out my hotmail inbox- something I haven't done in a LONG time.  I had emails in there from when I was on match the last time (2007, I think).  It made me shudder to see them!  I definitely don't want to go back to that.  All the shallowness and rejection.  I read an article yesterday that said women who are 25, Catholic, have a dog, and (I think I remember right) are Asian get the most responses online.  I am none of those things! 

I'm going out Friday night with some friends, and to be completely honest, I'm really looking forward to flirting again!

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
In reply to: shywon
Mon, 01-13-2014 - 11:11am

Yes that's strange that he didn't want to meet your friends--it's not like you were taking him home to meet your mother.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
In reply to: shywon
Sun, 01-12-2014 - 8:37pm

I think you said you lived in a small town but now I dont remember.. If you do then it must be difficult to find someone in your age group ... I would think the thirties are a difficult time because women like you who want children would have to find a good partner and man to spend their life with and with the men shortage that is a challenge...Oh; and a guy who wants the same exact things as you do.... Men are of course focused on their career and then if they were married have atleast one or two kids by now and ex wives.. I saw a show where alot of thirty something men were divorced with one or two kids and paying CS..

My son is 33 and cannot find someone around his age who is single with no kids..

I also think the bar scene isnt a great place to find people either but that theory goes way back... Not saying one cant meet someone in a bar but its slim pickins..

Same old same old.. where does one meet someone if not online... I have no idea unless there is a set up of sorts..