"Life in the fastlane"

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2006
"Life in the fastlane"
52
Mon, 03-19-2007 - 11:50am

First off, I know the title of this thread is strange, but it's the best way I can sum up what I'm getting at.

Anyway, it's always seemed to me that women, especially younger ones (late teens/early twenties) are attracted to guys who lead fast-paced, exciting lifestyles. It's a lifestyle I'd like to lead. The problem is, I only have the foggiest idea of what that lifestyle looks like and I have no idea how to achieve it. I'm usually busy (my days are packed with either work or school) but whenever I have free time, I am more than willing to sacrifice a few days/nights of my work and school schedule.

So I guess what I'm trying to ask is, how can I develop my own "life in the fastlane"? Not only that, but how do I let other people who normally wouldn't know me know that I lead such a lifestyle so as to draw them to me?

Try to remember back when you were all 18 to 21 year old girls again. If you heard about how some guy spent his weekend, what would make you say, "wow, he sounds really cool. I want to hang out with that guy"?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Tue, 03-20-2007 - 2:56pm

I personally hate it when people do this. Who's to decide who's being genuine and authentic and who's just pretending? What's the difference between a guy who leads that lifestyle naturally and a guy who leads it intentionally? It just seems really unfair and unreasonable to me.

There is a VERY obvious difference between someone who is really into something and someone who is trying way too hard to look like they're into it to impress people. Sorry, but someone like Pee Wee Herman, Napoleon Dynamite, Screech from Saved By The Bell, or Steve Urkel trying to be all badass biker dude would look just plain ridiculous. There are some people who just don't have it in them. You want to go ahead and try anyway, go right ahead. No one's gonna stop you. But just don't expect that women will suddenly come running just because you've turned yourself in to a BAMF.

Why is it that the Jock who beat up and humiliated some poor kid got the girl, the Punk who smoked pot and drank got the girl (AFTER HE STRAIGHT UP TOLD HER HE HAD TONS OF OTHER GIRLFRIENDS) but the Nerd who didn't hurt anyone left alone?



First of all, it was just a movie - whoever gets the girl is all up to the person writing the script. Second of all, the jock and the Johnny Bender guy were a heck of a lot better looking than the nerdy guy. Lastly, why did they get the girl? Because they each had a set of balls, something the nerdy guy didn't have. No girl wants to be with a pansy.



And there's always the Fonz from Happy Days. LOL

Wouldn't that be the ultimate in being a poser?

Uh, yeah, it would be. It was a joke.

Edited 3/20/2007 5:26 pm ET by cl-countrygrlupnorth

Edited 3/20/2007 5:28 pm ET by cl-countrygrlupnorth




Edited 3/20/2007 5:28 pm ET by cl-countrygrlupnorth


Edited 3/20/2007 5:30 pm ET by cl-countrygrlupnorth
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Tue, 03-20-2007 - 3:19pm
Believe me, no matter what age you are women sense when you are trying to be someone you are not to fit in. This spells to us "insecurity" and that's the biggest female deterant. So if you want to push women further away then be someone you are not. You are WAY better off just being yourself and being patient. What is it that you like to do? Why not pick up a new hobby? Are there any "fastlane" hobbies you think you might like. Stay busy and well-rounded and have fun. If studying bores you run a marathon or pick up archery, hunting, snowboarding or whatever floats your boat. You don't have to be a bad boy to attract women. Women also like interesting and adventurous but you don't have to do drugs, ride motorcycles etc etc to be adventurous.
Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Tue, 03-20-2007 - 4:40pm
Make friends with them of course. Find a way to ingraciate yourself into those circles. Once you are accepted, get contact info, stay in touch with them, organize nights out on the town. Invite a group to a sports bar to watch a game. If you don't know anyone who travels in those circles, you need to pick someone out and try to befriend them. If they are school chums, as before, invite them out to a game or to watch one at a sports bar. Join some clubs at school or offer to tutor or ask for a tutor. Do anything you can think of to become involved in social activities. Go to games alone if you must. Try your luck at making new friends there.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Tue, 03-20-2007 - 4:51pm

Well, I don't know where you live, but when my son took West Coast Swing lessons, the girls were all over him. He was 16 at the time. And now, at 18, he has no trouble finding girls to go out with him. I can't tell you how many proms he was invited to.

As for techno/trance - well, since there's no definitive form like there is for the Standards and Latin, no, you probably wouldn't see anyone teach it. You just DO it.


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Tue, 03-20-2007 - 4:57pm

<<>>

I really think your misogyny shines through when you approach women, which is why you aren't having any luck.

I still think you should just get a pro. You obviously don't care about the prospective woman you may hook up with. You don't want a relationship. You just want sex. That would be the guaranteed route.


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2006
Tue, 03-20-2007 - 5:32pm

Okay, I am just going to be blunt and save you from any further agony. You being short, not having a cute face, no money, driving a POS car, not to mention lacking a single ounce of self-confidence, you are not going to get a 18-21 girl who is attractive and wild to even give you a second glance no matter what you do and how much you try to morph into this person you are not. It sounds harsh, but that’s the reality. Sorry, nobody said life is fair. You seem to be stuck with this notion that life has to be fair, but it is not. Some people are born attractive, rich and smart, some people aren’t. With the way things are for you right now, you are not going to get a girl. Deal with it, it’s life.

If I were you, I would focus on school right now so that I can get a kick ass job when I graduate, move to a big city and make tons of money. That’s the only way to get the fast lane life and the hot girls you so desperately want. The hot girls won’t turn money down. Whether they will actually grow to love and care about you, that’s a different story, but since that’s not a concern you have right now, we don’t need to go there.

Another thing you can do (I already know I am wasting my breath), how about joining the fraternity? You get to be friends with all the cool guys on campus and be at parties where drunk girls will put out? Also, are you interested in any sports? When I was in college, I had a thing for guys who were in the fraternity and on the college sports team. But they still had to be cute and decent height. So you will still be out of luck with me when I was in college, sorry.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2007
Thu, 03-22-2007 - 7:05am

>>>Then by all means, try to find some new and different activities, but don't focus on trying to look like a badass, because, no offense, you'll just look ridiculous. My brother just bought a motorcycle this year, and he and all his friends laugh at people who are purposely trying to be "bad" and "live in the fast lane." They call them "posers."<<<

>>>I personally hate it when people do this. Who's to decide who's being genuine and authentic and who's just pretending? What's the difference between a guy who leads that lifestyle naturally and a guy who leads it intentionally? It just seems really unfair and unreasonable to me.<<<

Then why do you do it? You're a wanna-be poser. Give it up and get a grip.

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Thu, 03-22-2007 - 12:26pm
Are you the same guy who started bartending school or do I have you confused with someone else? If you ARE that guy, I'm curious as to how that worked out for you. Sorry if I'm mistaken.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Thu, 03-22-2007 - 12:29pm

No that's a different guy. Can't remember his siggy but I haven't seen him around in a while.

This guy is 20 - too young to even get into a bar legally.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2005
Thu, 03-22-2007 - 12:44pm
depending on how old you are, moving out of your parents house is a good way to figure out what really interests you. another way is to find out what scares you and try to overcome that fear
I.E.- heights-rockclimbing/skydiving
snakes-work with them
girls-make an effort to flirt with a cute girl everyday (it doesn't matter what they think, more how you feel having done it.)
guys are attractive when they are confident with themselves, and fearlessness doesn't hurt either. make sure you are smart about it though stupidity is a major turn off!