Life's Simple Pleasures

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Life's Simple Pleasures
Sun, 09-25-2011 - 12:30pm

No matter how many times I read it here or elsewhere, I have this mild panic that if I take time off from dating, I will only be X years/months older when I come back and therefore that much less desirable. I've had six men in their 50s+ in the last four months brag about how easy it is for them to get women in their "20s and 30s".

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Sun, 09-25-2011 - 12:48pm

I think I've heard this "taking a break" thing from you before!

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Sun, 09-25-2011 - 2:58pm
As someone who's been on a break longer than she cares to admit, I have no advice for you. If any, I guess I'd advise you to stay active if you really want to settle down again. Where I've been absent so long, I don't know that I will ever want to get back out there and I'm not so sure that's a good thing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sun, 09-25-2011 - 6:59pm

I have a friend who's about 50 who decided to take a one-year break from dating cause 1) she just got out of a bad relationship & she feels she's always picking guys who are bad for her, 2) she wants to focus on other things, like changing jobs and focuse more on her kids.

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 09-27-2011 - 1:22pm
Isn't part of your happiness you want to focus on is taking care of you libido as well? What dizzy ride are you talking about? Dating men and creating up-and-down relationships?

For me I view each relationship as a learning experience. This goes beyond, "Oh learned not to date jerks." It is more of learning about myself in why I was attracted to this person in the first place, what are our similar values and personality, what do I value for a partner versus as someone to have fun with? This way I can enter into a new relationship with more consciousness and self awareness rather than just on emotion and chemistry.