Link to articles, very usefull!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2003
Link to articles, very usefull!
1
Sun, 12-10-2006 - 3:07am

Hi Guys,

Tonight when I got home from doing some xmas shopping I started to do research to look for some relationship articles. This is what I like to do when I start to feel myself miss my ex or are about to cry. I find that reading articles on how to deal with breakups or just ones related to personal growth really help. I came accross this one website that talks about rather than focusing and dwelling on the negative, try to appreciate the things you have in your life. This article really openened my eyes, and made me realize that during my relationship with my ex due to my high expectations I was focusing to much on the things he did not do now, compared to what he use to do when we went out years ago. Compared to the days when I would not think about things I was totally happy with him and myself. But then I would start thinking of those things and become disappointed. So it helped me to realize that I need to learn to appreciate what I have, rather than focus on what I do not have in my life. So I thought I would pass the link to this article on to you. To get to this part of the website click on the article link on the side colum, then go to the links that are underneith the heading personal growth. I hope that these articles help you all to appreciate your life, no matter if you have a guy or not. Please let me know if these articles helped you out or not. The articles really do not say anything that we all did not know to begin with. They are just a helpful reminder of what people in todays society tend to lack, as we are so focused on getting, wanting and what we do not have that it just leaves us unsatisified. This actually reminds me of this course I took last summer called western scholarship it dealt with philosophers, psychologists and myths they had about happiness it dated back all the way to the acient greeks around 400 BC etc.... it was such an awesome course. It was an upper level psychology course that I took.

Here is the link,

http://www.dr.noellenelson.com/Personal_Growth_and_Relationships.cfm

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2003
Sun, 12-10-2006 - 3:32am
Hi I just wanted to update you guys on a realization about my ex b/f I just had after reading another article from that website. I started thinking about sharing as I just finished reading the article titled womens health that focused on sharing. It made me start thinking about how when I would spend the nights at my ex b/f's house when we were going out then in the mid day after we got up had breakfast and maybe talked for a bit, I would go home if he had to get some work done on his computer. I would usually see him later on in the night, but I would find that even if he would let me know the night before or a few days before that he had no problem with us hanging out on the weekends and me staying over, but that the had to get some work done so that he would want time to himself to get it done. I would be like I totally understand where you are coming from as it is easier to focus when alone. But then I would be like why can't I just bring over my text books and read as I would most likely be going home to do hwk anyways. So to me it would just make things more fun to work with one another around, even though I know I would get distracted, so I would never do that if I had an exam the next day. Well anyways he would be like no I would like to have time to myself to do it. Then I would be like why you are listening to music when you do your programing so how is me sitting on the couch reading distracting. He would tell me that he gets distracted when I am around,and feels bad when I am here while he is working and that he can get more done when he is alone. Then after I read this article it made me realize that my ex was an only child and is use to having alot more space than someone like me who has an older brother. It also made me realize that in his situation I would probably want to be able to get my work done faster, but would probably change that so he could be around. It also made me think that I do have a tendency to take things to personally when in reality he was just doing that because it would be more effiencent. This was not an issue for us, or anywhere near the reason as to why we brokeup. It just poped into my head when reading this. So I just thought I would share this as I realized I need to work on not taking things so personally.