Living Alone - Tips Needed

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2005
Living Alone - Tips Needed
9
Wed, 06-14-2006 - 9:11pm

I'm 27, and for the first time in my life I will soon be living on my own - by myself. I've always lived with roomates, family or a boyfriend, so this new experience is frightening!

Any good websites on single-girl safety besides taking a self-defense course?

Also, I expect to be lonely and scared at night - aside from getting a dog are there any things you all can suggest on how to beat this newly found odd-quietness? I've already ruled out watching horror movies... lol... any other ideas? Thanks...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Wed, 06-14-2006 - 9:22pm

For me, I usually turn on the TV for company if I'm feeling freaked out (which rarely happens since I've been living alone for many years). I admit I do sleep with the light on some nights (usually after I've watched a scary movie, so yeah, maybe they're good to avoid in the beginning). Also, if it's an apartment you're moving into (as opposed to a house), you can almost always hear the neighbors somewhere in the building, so it's really not like dead quiet. Even though the quiet may be disorienting to you at first, I think you'll get used to it quickly and start to really enjoy it! Good luck.


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2005
Wed, 06-14-2006 - 10:25pm

I think it's natural to be a little scared! I know I was the first week in my apartment but I quickly got over that. I found myself staying up late til I was dead-tired AND taking a benedryl to make sure I stayed alseep. I think you'll really be okay, the first week or so will be weird in general, you won't feel like you're coming 'home' but visiting this place that just happens to hold all your stuff. Expect the weirdness and you'll be less likely to feel surprised or stressed by it.

I've never taken a self-defense course because I was lucky enough to have a bf that was a cop. Check though with local Recreational commissions, most towns and cities have one. Or check with the YMCA. If all else fails, call the police department and see if they can direct you anywhere. You may even be able to pay a cop to give you some lessons.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Thu, 06-15-2006 - 7:47am
I have lived alone for the majority of my adult life (I am 40+) and have never had my home broken into, so I have not been motivated to buy a gun. Do you live in a dangerous neighborhood? You might want to buy a gun and learn to use it. Like a lot of people who live alone, I guess, if I am feeling scared at night I turn on a light or turn on the cd player and listen to relaxation music. Iri
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2005
Thu, 06-15-2006 - 8:29am
I wouldn't buy a gun, that's not something a nervous homeowner should have. It can too easily be used against you. I would use a baseball bat, it's tougher to miss with that. You miss with a gun and he's got a chance to knock it out of your hand. Just a thought!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Thu, 06-15-2006 - 8:49am
Well, I have lived alone since college and I really like it. I rarely get lonely but I used to. I made sure to have plans for dinner or drinks with friends a couple of nights each week so that I felt less alone. My cat helped. I also started a journal (which has since gone the way of the dodo) and started doing some crafts. At first it was difficult because I am such a people person. But now I really treasure my alone time. To the point where I know that it will be difficul to live with someone else in the future.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2005
Thu, 06-15-2006 - 9:59am
Oh how I miss living alone! I don't really have any tips for you - I actually always felt safer in an apartment cause I figured those around me would hear me screaming if that ever happened (whereas in a house it's not as likely your neighbors would hear you). I know that's real reassuring but honestly after 10+ years of living alone I'd say there were only a handful of nights I was really "scared". Overall, it's a great deal of freedom - enjoy it!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Thu, 06-15-2006 - 10:14am

just because you think you might be scared living my yourself, you mind find that you have nothing to worry about. I found myself more scared when living in a larger apartment with a roommate, then by myself in a smaller one. Here are some tips:

1) NEVER lease/buy a garden apartment, no matter how cheap. They're cheap for a reason and your insurance will be higher.

2) Find an area that you feel comfortable living in. There is no sense living somwhere you are scared living in because no matter how cheap the rent, it won't be worth it.

3) It is always better to have a common front door that is locked, then to have your own private entrance. In my place somebody would have to unlock the first door, the go through another, before they even reach my apt. door.

4) If you have a back door, make sure there is a bolted lock and glass that nobody can break through. I know it looks ugly, but security screens really help.

5) be aware of your surroundings.

6) Never leave a screen door open while you are not home or sleeping.

Other than these, you should be fine. I think you will find that just "being aware" and being smart will help you a lot.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2006
Thu, 06-15-2006 - 3:37pm

I am in the same situation. I have never lived by myself and I am about to buy a house. At first, I wanted my sister to move in with me but then I got to thinking about how great it will be to have all the space all to myself. I am scared that I will get lonely because right now I live in a house with 4 other people so there is always someone to talk to and some kind of activity going on. But I just think how great it will be to come home, relax and not worry about invading someone else's space or having them invade yours. Like you, I am not sure how i am going to deal with the odd quietness. I think it will be something to get used to. I always love to curl up in a big comfy chair with a good book. Or make new friends in the neighborhood. The possibilities are limitless...start a scrapbook, design a webpage (myspace is a good addiction!!). I think that I want to learn how to sew or cross-stitch or something like that.

Anyway, those are just some things I have in mind for myself.
Hopefully we wont get too lonely or too scared.

I wish you all the best!
Lisa

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2005
Thu, 06-15-2006 - 3:43pm

Here's a couple tips:

Have TV on in the background or radio so it won't be dead quiet
Take some classes ie, tennis, craft, or your hobby,
Make plans with friends a couple times a week so that you have something to look forward to.
I am currently in school so no problem trying to get busy, the problem is usually get motivated :)

I hope this helps,