Looks vs. personality UPDATE if you want

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2007
Looks vs. personality UPDATE if you want
17
Fri, 07-20-2007 - 2:50am

Wow! I never expected such controversy and conversation over my two postings. I guess it really is a hot topic though in relationships. Well, I have now spent more time with both guys and guess what! I'm even more confused! But I do agree with all of the women out there who said that attraction can grow and looks aren't really the most important thing for women (even if that is what we're used to).

So I went out twice with guy #2 (the night of our last defensive driving class and then the next day). He was a lot older than I thought (33, and I'm 23). I find him very attractive. We kissed that night that we went out and I am even more attracted. He is fun to hang out with and easy to talk to. However, he seems a little immature for his age in some respects (such as how he talks about work, his boss, and coworkers). He's still much more mature than any guy in his twenties.

I saw guy number one (Mr. Personality) tonight. We cooked dinner together and watched a movie. He was a total gentleman but the chemistry seemed different tonight than it was the first night. He seemed more reserved and shy. I gave him the opportunity (I thought) to give me a kiss at the end of the evening. All throughout the movie I was trying to decide if I wanted him to and I still hadn't decided until he hugged me at the end of the night, but he didn't do it. Maybe he doesn't like me all that much. Just because he's not as cute doesn't mean I can have my pick and just expect him to fall for me. However, maybe he is just shy because he wants to see me again this weekend.

So now guy number one and two both want to see me again. I will see both of them again. This will be the 3rd time for both of them and I don't think that is leading them on because we're not that close yet. I really appreciate everybody's thoughtful responses to my first "discussion."

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Fri, 07-20-2007 - 1:19pm

Glasshalffull83, could you post a picture of yourself ? I am curious to see what you look like and what it is that makes you so attractive to guys. If not a picture, could you describe yourself in words ?




Edited 7/20/2007 1:30 pm ET by c2shiningc
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Fri, 07-20-2007 - 1:28pm

It doesn't necessarily matter what she looks like.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2006
Fri, 07-20-2007 - 1:39pm

Yeah, I agree. I go through phases when no one's after me to when I can't beat them away with a stick (I'm not bragging, trust me, it's usually guys I don't WANT to be after me, haha :) ).

Random, but I still have this ugly duckling attitude when guys do check me out (not all the time, but sometimes), especially when it happens more than once in succession...I'm confident, but my knee-jerk reaction is to wonder, "Oh God, do I have something in my hair, is there a huge stain on my skirt or something??"

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2007
Fri, 07-20-2007 - 3:03pm
Haha. I don't think I'm going to post a picture. Ummmm, I think what might make me attractive to guys is that I act really confident and I'm easy to talk to. Even if a guy is shy I somehow make him laugh. Even if I think he is out of my league I'll make eye contact and smile......but of course I do consider myself attractive. I'm tall, thin, with big hazel eyes and curly brown hair.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2007
Sat, 07-28-2007 - 2:33pm

I'm just curious what type of guys do you think are "out of your league"?
Do you judge men on their class status( socio-economically)?
what position are you in terms of job/education/income?
thanks

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2007
Mon, 07-30-2007 - 6:26pm
A guy who is drop dead gorgeous and super-fit would fit my description of "out of my league." I don't think intelligence or social status has anything to do with it because I consider myself very intelligent. To answer your other question, I just graduated from a four year university. Of course, when I'm saying "out of my league" I'm talking about INTIAL attraction, before words are spoken. You know, when the guy you're smiling at could be a Calvin Klein underwear model or something. If I meet said underwear model and he turns out to be a dud, I'm no longer interested, regardless of his appearance.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2007
Tue, 07-31-2007 - 12:33pm
So do you ever initiate a discussion if there is an INITIAL attraction or do you just give a hint?
How is your area for singles, like do you find it easy or not meeting people and forming relationships? Are you in a relationship?
thanks, i need some female perspective.

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