Losing interest

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2008
Losing interest
Sun, 04-08-2012 - 4:04pm

Most men would blubber and bawl if they were losing interest in sex, but that's something which was never on my radar to begin with.

It worries me a little that I've begun to lose interest in finding love---you know, that corny emotional bonding stuff we're not supposed to talk about.

I'm at a point in my life where I'm just starting to get my s*** together: I've just published my 2nd book and I've been writing to indie bookstores to find out if they want to sell it, I'm organizer of a meetup group of 80+ other authors who like my idea of applying multi-level marketing's business model to publishing (except they'd be selling their own work and keeping most of the money), I've gotten probably halfway through the herculean task of cleaning up the house I inherited after it's been neglected for 40 years, and I can lose weight any time I want to.

But now with my writing and other hobbies to keep me occupied, I find myself wishing less and less for a life partner to share the good times with.

For the record, I've had exactly THREE gfs in 27 years since I was old enough to date (I'm 44), and I dumped them all after less than 2 months.

I used to feel like I was paying the piper but was never allowed to dance, but now I don't feel like I'm missing anything at all. I'm busy "becoming awesome" (or becoming a selfish jerk), but finally I'm at that point in my life when I can enjoy the things I want to do without anyone to tell me no (except for the occasional cop).

But if the woman of my dreams was to waltz into my life tomorrow, I'd probably turn her away. Nowadays I don't have anywhere near as much love in my heart as I did when I was younger and really needed female companionship. I won't feel any regrets when I'm in my 80s and the nursing homes are all inundated with little old ladies who waited for a Prince Charming who never arrived.

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Sun, 04-08-2012 - 4:46pm

Congrats on all you've accomplished in life so far.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Sun, 04-08-2012 - 4:59pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sun, 04-08-2012 - 6:38pm

You have mostly good things in this post about how you are accomplishing things for yourself & making friends, etc. but then it seems to end w/ a negative note.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2005
Sun, 04-08-2012 - 9:32pm

It looks like you never wanted a life partner if you only had 3 gfs in 27 years and you dumped them after 2 months ! It's great that you finally admit it to yourself and feel good about it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2008
Sun, 04-08-2012 - 11:58pm
Don't feel bad, marty, I feel exactly the same about men right now, and I am 50 and a woman!
We can say the same about men. I am at the same point as you are, only wondering whether men are worth it!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2008
Sun, 04-08-2012 - 11:59pm

Right on, Music.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2011
Mon, 04-09-2012 - 11:25am

Music made a good point but I see it further -

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Mon, 04-09-2012 - 11:34am

Ha ha Jt.. Your post was great .. I wish I had more friends like you.

You are right most that post on here and women and I didnt feel too insulted over your post Marty about the older women? I am almost 58 and unlike you I am thinking if I get the opportunity of being old and with my peers I will consider that fortunate thing..

I do think whatever makes you happy is great and you might be starting to get set in your ways and if not finding anyone is going to make you less happy then so be it..

I for one do not like being alone and I hope and pray I dont grow old alone if I get that chance but to each his own..