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|Sun, 04-08-2012 - 4:04pm|
Most men would blubber and bawl if they were losing interest in sex, but that's something which was never on my radar to begin with.
It worries me a little that I've begun to lose interest in finding love---you know, that corny emotional bonding stuff we're not supposed to talk about.
I'm at a point in my life where I'm just starting to get my s*** together: I've just published my 2nd book and I've been writing to indie bookstores to find out if they want to sell it, I'm organizer of a meetup group of 80+ other authors who like my idea of applying multi-level marketing's business model to publishing (except they'd be selling their own work and keeping most of the money), I've gotten probably halfway through the herculean task of cleaning up the house I inherited after it's been neglected for 40 years, and I can lose weight any time I want to.
But now with my writing and other hobbies to keep me occupied, I find myself wishing less and less for a life partner to share the good times with.
For the record, I've had exactly THREE gfs in 27 years since I was old enough to date (I'm 44), and I dumped them all after less than 2 months.
I used to feel like I was paying the piper but was never allowed to dance, but now I don't feel like I'm missing anything at all. I'm busy "becoming awesome" (or becoming a selfish jerk), but finally I'm at that point in my life when I can enjoy the things I want to do without anyone to tell me no (except for the occasional cop).
But if the woman of my dreams was to waltz into my life tomorrow, I'd probably turn her away. Nowadays I don't have anywhere near as much love in my heart as I did when I was younger and really needed female companionship. I won't feel any regrets when I'm in my 80s and the nursing homes are all inundated with little old ladies who waited for a Prince Charming who never arrived.