At a Lost

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2007
At a Lost
9
Mon, 11-05-2007 - 12:37pm
I met this guy about 3 1/2 months ago. He seem to be a real nice. The first thing out of his mouth was that he was lonely. I don't know about anyone else, but I certainly would't say I was lonely out of fear of looking needy. Any how I figured since he moved down here and knew no one was why he
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2007
In reply to: hawkeye2007
Mon, 11-05-2007 - 2:13pm

I waited almost two months before I slept with him. Very good lover but I wasn't in love with him, I liked him alot.I notice that if I didn't say I love you at the end of a phone conversation, the next time we speak he would not end the conversation with I love you.


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He might have figured this out . . whatever you do or don't think of him, if he really does love you and you don't share those feelings . . .he is going to get hurt, isn't he? Some one not so long ago started saying I love you when she didn't really mean it to me

We in America do not have government by the majority. We have government by the majority who participate.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2007
In reply to: hawkeye2007
Mon, 11-05-2007 - 2:50pm
I just wasn't sure, it was to soon for me. I felted like I was being smothered. I figured maybe he might row on me???
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: hawkeye2007
Mon, 11-05-2007 - 3:28pm

I'm with you...3.5 months is too soon to love someone IMO and him saying he

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2007
In reply to: hawkeye2007
Mon, 11-05-2007 - 3:37pm

Mine said something like that. The trick is, if you don't love someone, don't say you do, period. (-: If they leave, they leave .. it is called sharing information, and allowing them the respect to chose how much risk they can tolerate, (That is a minimum level of respect if you sincerely value there feelings, isn't it?), the truth is not always pleasant. To me, tell me what you do feel . . .and live with the choices I make . .I promise the same in return.


You can

We in America do not have government by the majority. We have government by the majority who participate.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2007
In reply to: hawkeye2007
Mon, 11-05-2007 - 4:06pm

I'm with you...3.5 months is too soon to love someone


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I have been head over heals twice in my life, and never a day goes by that I don't think at least in passing of these two women, one more than 20 years ago now . .

We in America do not have government by the majority. We have government by the majority who participate.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: hawkeye2007
Mon, 11-05-2007 - 4:58pm

What you're describing is what I would call strong infatuation (which is different from lust, although lust is usually a component of it).

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2007
In reply to: hawkeye2007
Mon, 11-05-2007 - 5:47pm

It takes a good 4-6 months before you even start to see the "real" person behind the best foot forward dating mask we all wear to some degree.


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100% true. What you are describing is a "loving and complete relationship", not "just love". Love is a raw emotion without much mercy or common since sometimes. Love can be a complete disaster. (-: It is not always healthy. I think I might offer that "love" can be very real even in its more negative and destructive forms.

We in America do not have government by the majority. We have government by the majority who participate.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2007
In reply to: hawkeye2007
Mon, 11-05-2007 - 6:50pm
I thank everyone for there take on this,and yes grow rather than row :). I think I just got cold feet, I was never mean to him, just that I needed space which some people think that means your trying to blow them off. Which I was not just some time to think, but the funny thing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2007
In reply to: hawkeye2007
Mon, 11-05-2007 - 7:49pm
It sounds like you like him. And he sounds like a decent guy. I hope one way or another things work out for you. Maybe he will turn out to be the villain and he is off cheating. LoL I agree, I am the type that can out run a girls emotions at times. But with the time and investment and the fact you seem to have intertwined life's to a degree . . . it is odd he would drop out of sight so suddenly. That one will have a definitive answer when it finally floats to the surface I think.
We in America do not have government by the majority. We have government by the majority who participate.