For love or money? Who would you rath...
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For love or money? Who would you rath...
| Sun, 01-28-2007 - 11:33am |
For love or money? Who would you rather be with?
- a man who I love deeply, but doesn't look good "on paper"
- a man who looks good "on paper" yet I don't love deeply- I simply care for him
You will be able to change your vote.

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They may be married, but they weren't at one point. Remember, DH is a workaholic. We had many arguments and disagreements about what is tolerable and what isn't. When I first started dating him, I knew he was a workaholic and I made a note to watch how much he worked outside of work. If he worked, like my 1xh, I wouldn't have continued the r'ship. But, he left work, at work.
And now that his job is getting more stressful (he recently got a promotion), he's already talked to me about what we can do to aleve his stress, and how we can not allow it to affect our life.
Honestly, I think it's more about the man wanting to make the r'ship work, versus working and hoping his love life will accommodate his work.
I had to have lots of talks with Dh to get him where he is now. In the beginning, it wasn't like this. He was ready to work 24/7 to "give me a house", "allow me to not work while I get my master's degree", etc. I had to put my foot down and tell him no. R'ship first. everything else second.
Just remmeber this...well-rounded men.....aren't always available on the fly, however, many of them can be shown the way to being well-rounded, if they want to be. :)
Just some more thoughts.
"but "not there" because he's always "at work," even when he's not.
'...i even knew a high powered attorney who'd work only till 3pm, go home, spend time with his kids, and come back at 9-12am to finish up work when the kids were sleeping. weekends, he never worked. it was family time. he was a partner in the firm, and i'm sure, pulled in over $200k. i admired him and respected him greatly. he was a family man first, an attorney second'.
In my humble opinion, this is an absolute exception, and out of 100% of high powered attorneys who earn over $200,000 a year maybe about 1% will do what you have described. Can I repeat? IMHO. The majority of 'high earners' will NOT put their family above their work because in some cases it just isn't possible no matter how much you want to. A CFO in a company I used to work for adored his wife to distraction (still don't understand what there was to adore but that is another topic LOL), but as much as he wanted to spend all his time with her, he literally worked from 8am to 11pm if not later every single day including weekends, sometimes through the night sleeping in the office, travelled on 2 second's notice and accorss the globe 2-3 weeks out of 4, did not sleep, did not eat, did not live, just worked, and made tons of money for his non-working stay at home do nothing all day (they had no kids) wife to spend on her desinger clothes, hairdressers and jewellery.
'....I would much rather date someone like him who I have such a wonderful connection with than someone who makes a lot of money and is around all the time, but "not there" because he's always "at work," even when he's not. If that makes sense'.
It makes perfect sense to me and I couldn't have said it better myself!!!
He's definitely there mentally (so far, anyway lol).
Oh, ITA. I'm not saying he's not 1 in a million, but I wanted to point out that not all high-powered money-making men ALL concentrate only on work and forget about the wifey at home.
There are high earners though, who do put family first. It's not common, I know, but I'd hate for people to think that just cuz a guy has a good career, makes money, it means he's not worth it, because he'll be so into his job.
My mom is an admin. Makes probably no more than $50-60k. But y'know what? she's at work 12+ hours a day. My dad hates it. She's a total workaholic. It's quite sad. I'm saying this, because people are people. It's their personalities that determine their drive, and wants. It's also their values that help them choose between work and family.
I guess, I'd rather have a man, who's values are more about family, than work. Regardless if he brings is $40k or $400k. That's all I wanted to say. Their values will run their life. Find a man who's values are the same as yours. I mean, there ARE women out there who want a man to make a ton of money and could careless if they ever see him. lol. kwim?
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