Is this lying? Really?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Is this lying? Really?
28
Wed, 11-23-2011 - 10:54pm

I really shouldn't watch "Tough Love" because it messes with my head.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2011
Wed, 11-23-2011 - 11:16pm

Do YOU think it's wrong to be dating (with or without sex) more than one guy at the same time?

Isn't there a word for that ?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Wed, 11-23-2011 - 11:25pm

I honestly don't think it's wrong, Reesh.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2009
Wed, 11-23-2011 - 11:26pm

I knew someone was going to ask that question after watching that episode lol!

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Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Wed, 11-23-2011 - 11:28pm
I think there's a point before it's said that most people assume things are exclusive. That point seems to be when sex enters the relationship. Of course, there are people who don't think having sex is a big step in a relationship, but most do. I've actually only had an exclusivity talk with one of my exes, and it was strange to do because we'd both already assumed it was exclusive. Saying it just confirmed that we were on the same page. All my other relationships just evolved into being together every weekend , being called the girlfriend, etc.

To answer your question: I don't think it's wrong to date more than one guy, as long as you don't lead one to believe he's the only one (by declaring love, for example). Once sex is on the table, everyone else should be off unless it's clearly a strictly physical arrangement.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Wed, 11-23-2011 - 11:45pm

Lady, Shy, let me be extremely specific, although i hope others will answer the primary question and this one won't hijack my own thread.

I really like the older man I'm dating.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Thu, 11-24-2011 - 12:08am

Call me old fashioned but I think dating and taking off one's clothes to be with a man are two different animals.

Isnt dating just going out for dinner or dancing or movies and not actually not having sex?? My belief and I am not a prude is that I can date a few men at a time and let them know that I am seeing other people ..but I probably wont be having sex with them all until I decided which one I wanted to be with and that he wanted to be with me...

I think maybe when the line gets crossed from dating to physical everything changes.. If I were having sex with one man I would want him to be exclusive to me and me to him.. and forsake all others..

Side Note;; I am thinking?? You might be giving too much credit to this guy.. I mean he is 73 and has a LL and is so busy I would think he wouldnt have enough time or energy to be having sex with alot of other women.. I mean he can barely satisfy you in that dept. as you have said so he could be the same way with other women. They might be saying this guy is older and cant satisfy me and all of the same things you are saying...

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Thu, 11-24-2011 - 1:39am

You know, Free, I never considered that!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2010
Thu, 11-24-2011 - 2:28am
Actually, through exprience, I've learned it's best to be honest because you don't actually know how the other person feels about being part of a crowd. I learned this the hard way and when I decide to put my toe back into the dating ring, I am definitely going to be honest. I feel it's always better to give a person a choice. If I'm dating more than one person until I find the right match, I'm going to be honest about it. I'm also going to live by the mantra "no sex until exclusivity." So yes, I think a person should be open about whether or not they are dating others for the sake of giving a person a chance to decide if they want continue.

I'm not really sure there is a wrong or right in this situation, I think it boils down to personal preference. If you are okay with dating multiple people and not telling them, I think that's okay to. As long as you are aware that some may not be comfortable with that and you can handle potential conflict that may arise, then it's fine.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2009
Thu, 11-24-2011 - 3:01am

Marina...

If you and Mr. Long Distance started to broach the conversation of whether you're dating/sexing others and then you both agree not to answer those questions I would say you're both on the same page.

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Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Thu, 11-24-2011 - 10:05am
Here's my question: If he were to tell you that you're the only one he's sleeping with, would you quit with the other guys?

The relationship seems like it's just sex right now, which to me still means you need to talk about whether you're sleeping with other people.

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