Making an effort to go out and meet ppl

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2003
Making an effort to go out and meet ppl
12
Wed, 05-16-2007 - 8:20pm

Hello!

Do any of you ever have this problem? Particularly for the singles out there. Do you often find yourself in the comfort zone and rather stay at home or do things alone rather than doing things that involve meeting new people?

I tried to make this as a new years resolution - to get out more often instead of staying home and watching tv or surfing the internet. But it's soo much harder than anticipated!!

What are your experiences?

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Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Wed, 05-16-2007 - 10:05pm

I'm a comfort zone-er. My friends have to drag me out. I don't mind hanging out at a back yard BBQ or if friends are all gathering at someones house for wine, I'll go for that, but I can't stand going to bars or clubs. I don't enjoy the whole meat market vibe. Plus, at 34, I kind of feel too old.

So, if you're a pill like me, LOL, I would suggest going to some places by yourself. There are all kinds of outdoor eateries downtown. I am always meeting people that way. Some allow pets, so I'll bring Zoe along or a book.

The only other suggestions I can think of are joining your local chamber or taking up a new hobby. My sister takes a painting class where she's met some folks, and a friend of mine joined a biking club a couple of years ago. She met all kinds of new people.

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 05-16-2007 - 10:25pm

Recently a friend at work became single.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2003
Wed, 05-16-2007 - 10:29pm
Thanks for your response! I hope you dont mind me asking.. but how would you go about meeting new people at outdoor eateries? I've tried going myself before as I enjoy this type of thing but it just seems difficult to start up a conversation given the type of setting! Whats your secret?? =)
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2003
Wed, 05-16-2007 - 10:41pm

I'm totally with you there. Which actually kind of brings me to why I'm trying to go out and meet new people by doing other new things because I cannot keep up with my friends partying until 3 am anymore. I've tried cutting it short to 12ish or so but its just not the same. They usually don't start heading out until 11 pm at the earliest! I'm turning 26 this year but I just can't stay up until the wee hours anymore...!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2005
Thu, 05-17-2007 - 1:27am
I'm a total hermit, lol. I used to go out all the time, but I really prefer hanging out with friends at someone's house or apartment to going clubbing/bar-hopping/whathaveyou. I'm all for things like going to concerts, museums, or festivals, though.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Thu, 05-17-2007 - 11:02am
My friends tease me and call me a "wimp" because I'm getting to that point where I don't like to be out all night - if I stay up all night now, it takes me DAYS to recover.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Thu, 05-17-2007 - 11:40am

"I'm a comfort zone-er. My friends have to drag me out. I don't mind hanging out at a back yard BBQ or if friends are all gathering at someones house for wine, I'll go for that, but I can't stand going to bars or clubs. I don't enjoy the whole meat market vibe. Plus, at 34, I kind of feel too old."

I could have written this myself only I'm 23... so I feel so abnormal. I'm the same way with the late nights, I really don't have any desire to stay out past 11 or 12 so I just feel weird going out if invited, I mean how do I just get up and leave at 11 when they are really just getting started. It's awkward so I usually just end up staying at home instead.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Thu, 05-17-2007 - 12:01pm

I go in phases. Lately, I have definitely been in the "homebody" mode. I bought my townhouse and adopted a puppy last year, so I've been enjoying house projects and playing with the dog. Going out has been a lower priority.

Yet, I also get lonely and would love to have more people around - friends and possibly a relationship if the right guy shows up. Both of those require getting out more, so I do force myself to go to happy hours, networking events, etc. to meet people and to just get out of the house.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Thu, 05-17-2007 - 12:08pm
I don't know that I have one(secret). Maybe Nashville is just THAT friendly, not sure. Yeah, people are always striking up convos. Especially, when I have my dog with me. I am actually not a very outgoing person, but when I'm in public, I push myself to be as amiable as possible. I try to leave the stuffy, reserved side of me at the door ; ) Not saying you are like that yourself.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2005
Thu, 05-17-2007 - 12:51pm
I became single 2 months ago. It was really hard when I knew so little people in my city. Then I had friends visit and I started going out and meeting people. At first it's a bit tiring to just *think* about going out, but once you force yourself to go out, it's so much fun. I think the key is to force yourself out of comfort zone (like myself being lazy and shy) and take risks. The results are often rewarding. So I made a goal for myself to make at least 30 new friends this year.

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