Mama's Boy
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| Fri, 06-15-2007 - 5:25pm |
I've been dating this wonderful, amazing guy for the last couple of months, and we really are starting to like each other enough to want to plan to spend more time together. It's a long distance relationship, he lives about 7 hours away. We met through his sister, who is an acquaintance of mine. We've seen each other about 4 times, and I decided to find out what the summer looked like for him so we could schedule out some of the weekends when my ex will have the kids.
Well, I was pretty shocked at his response. I knew he and his mom were close - and it was already concerning me that he is a bit of a mama's boy and seemed just a little too concerned about pleasing her/being there for her at his age (he is 35 and has never been married), but I was still trying to figure that one out. He'd said previously that it is HIS life to live, but he does talk to her often and she is VERY opinionated. But he also said there is a reason he lives 9 hours away from her.
His response - he has asked his mom (she is widowed) to spend the summer with him (July 4 until Labor day), so he's waiting to find out her schedule first (she hasn't given him an answer yet). That part was already alarming, since I've never known anyone to WANT to spend that much time with their mom (but maybe I'm overreacting...??). But then he suggested that if we did make plans, his mom would need to be included if she was there, and in fact she and I might even share a room (!)(I am assuming he means at his house, and he and I would not share a room anyway b/c we don't believe in sex outside of marriage, but still!!) Did I mention she is a very judgmental, critical type who has already decided she doesn't like me without ever having met me, just because I have kids?? Oh, and I should mention that he is 1/2 Korean, and she is Korean and wants him to meet a nice Korean girl (even though she did not say that for her other 3 kids).
Am I the only one who thinks this whole thing is totally bizarre?? I don't know if I'm too close to the situation or I should run like mad, or something in between, but what would you do if you were me? I really like this guy, he's truly a great guy, but I've never dated anyone who was so attached/close to his mother.

What I got out of your post are the following things:
1. This is not a close relationship between you two because of the physical distance and the number of times you have actually been with each other.
2. It does not matter what everyone else thinks, it is what YOU think of his relationship between him and his mother.
3. Trust your gut.
Mark
Good advice from Mark, just think "Mother-in-Law".
What are you seeing?
Trust your gut.