The man is lame

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
The man is lame
9
Mon, 04-10-2006 - 6:27pm

So, same guy who I posted about in the "pride" thread below...

He finally set up a date for Friday. (No, I did not do any additional prodding - nor will I). The kicker? He wants us to meet his friends for happy hour and then maybe go out after just the two of us.

He's really not into me, is he? At this point, I'm so annoyed, I'm not really into him either.

Ahh, one more lesson under my belt, eh? I keep telling myself it's building my character. I have enough character at this point for at least two human beings. ;)

Just a vent. I'm over it and doing much better than I was Friday. I had been wallowing a bit - but no more!

AJ, enjoying life with C.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-10-2006 - 7:02pm

Ok, now I'm confused...why do you say he's not into you? Isn't him wanting you to meet his friends a *good* thing?

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
Mon, 04-10-2006 - 8:29pm

Remind me, how many times have you been out with him?

It may not be such a bad thing, depending on the situation. But considering your other post, I'd say listen to your gut.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Mon, 04-10-2006 - 8:36pm
I'd say, the jury is still out on this one before you judge too quickly. He could be "testing" you in order to see where this new relationship goes... Meaning, testing how you act around his friends. But I agree, meeting the guys is not a bad thing at all.
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Mon, 04-10-2006 - 11:07pm

I get why.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Tue, 04-11-2006 - 11:39am

Exactly!! I love meeting friends later -- at least after date three or four, but this is only date number two and I feel like I'm going to either 1) be put on display for his friends or 2) be just one of the gang. I can't tell which yet. He hasn't made an actual plan for a date, either -- it's just happy hour and then "we'll see."

It goes back to the effort discussion we were having in the other thread. A man doesn't have to wine and dine me, but a little effort and thought is very much appreciated. This feels like a cop out -- very comfortable setting for him, and fairly uncomfortable for me.

I think the bottom line is, if I am overanalyzing so much so early, that's probably not a great sign. I still haven't decided if I should accept the Friday plan or not.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
Tue, 04-11-2006 - 12:20pm
Tallgirl, I agree. He isn't into you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Tue, 04-11-2006 - 3:29pm

If you put the most positive spin on the situation I think it still may not be great. Here's as good as it gets, from my perspective. He wants to see you. Heck, he did ask you out. BUT, he failed to recognize how uncomfortable you may be around a group of HIS friends. The guy may be a little dense. That is obviously not what you want or deserve.

The truth is, you have seen two flags already. No, they may not have been red, but they are at least a dark pink. He didn't contact you after the first date, which I think is big. Now, this whole group date thing.

I would suggest you go on the date if you don't have a better offer. Heck, he may actually be a good catch. OR, one of his buddies might be a hottie. It could turn into a man buffet. Dinner is served!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Tue, 04-11-2006 - 3:37pm

>>OR, one of his buddies might be a hottie.<<

You know, that thought actually crossed my mind. Pretty good indicator of how I feel about this guy at this point. LOL.

Argh.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Tue, 04-11-2006 - 3:59pm

here's a new wrinkle...

I've asked five married or engaged people about this situation, and none of them think the happy hour invite is a bad thing. Do they know something we don't?

I guess I'll go and just see. Zero expectations, but I'll go. Or maybe it's more a matter of modifying expectations -- maybe I'll make a new friend or two and call this good.

AJ, enjoying life with C.