Is 'Match' dating website good?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2006
Is 'Match' dating website good?
9
Wed, 11-13-2013 - 6:58am

Hello. Well I'm trying to date and at the moment I have signed up with match.com BUT I have only done the profile thing BUT I haven't paid yet for the subscription because I don't have the money at the moment so I have used the other free dating sites and THOSE have been horrible.I haven't met anyone face to face on those free sites BUT I almost did last week but I'm so done with those.Well basically I had put an ad on CL...yeah..yeah..I know CL? BUT what happened to me has happened with others who never posetd on CL.Basically what happened was that I posted an ad on CL with my pic. I only responded to people who sent pics of themselves so that way I would have at least an idea of what they look like.So anyways we e-mailed for a bit...maybe 3 weeks? We did talk on the phone within that time too. Well he had asked to meet me earlier but I was hesitant because I still didn't feel comfortable to meet just yet. To me..I felt that it was too soon.Well finally I decided that..ok I am ready to meet this person.We had talked and he had stated if he could take me out to dinner or a movie. Well on a Wed, I told him that we could go to a movie for that upcomnig Friday. Well on Thurs. he said that he would look into what was playing.So here comes Fri and I never received an e-mail all day long.I ended up calling him around late 5pm/eraly 6pm and then I e-mailed him and asked him if we were still on for that night?Well I decided to go out to a dance club afterwards because I never received a call or anything from that Fri night. So next morning I had gotten an e-mail and he had said : "Hey just got ur email ...I had to work late yesterday didn't get off til 630... maybe I could rent some movies n we could watch em at ur place if that's ok...idk. let me know"

Well I was pissed! I mean really?!! It had gone from us planning to go watch a movie...in a theathre...to him saying maybe he could rent some movies and come over to MY place!! So this is what I wrote back to him  : "The fact that all you could have done was sent a quick e-mail letting me know that you weren't going to make it for last night would have been sufficient. We do live in this tech world where that could happen very easily and quickly.You had stated awhile back about going to a movie..you were even going to check up on that. Now it's turned into you renting movies to come over to my place to watch them??No thank you.I'm not like that. I don't know you.I thought that you were a gentleman.Obviously I'm not the right person for you. I wish you the best on your endeavors."

I figured that it was not a rude e-mail BUT I'm just so tired of these so-called men!! I mean IF you don't want to take me out to dinner or a movie...then DON;T pretend that that's what you want to do. OR if you want to take me out and something comes up...then that's cool BUT don't flip the script on me.What I feel he should have done was just say after he said he had to work late..that if we could just make plans to do this another time...that's it.That would have been fine with me.

There are BARELY any men out there who respects women nowadays.It's just so sad!I am happy with myself in telling him what I thought about his behavior.He can go right ahead and find a woman that is cool with that...I'm NOT one of them.It felt good to say that. So I'm wondering how the experience on match.com is?The only thing that I can do is WINK someone.Well this one guy that I did wink at...he winked back a few minutes later BUT since I have yet to subscribe yet to be able to e-mail anyone...I have kept a note on this guy because I really would like to talk to him.His profile is what attracted me to him.he does have a pic and I think he is cute but the profile actually got me and it's rare that happens to me.So I would like to hear other people's experience on this site. I feel that I am a  great catch but I'm never going to settle just to say that I'm dating anyone. i'm not putting up with anymore bull from anyone.I know how I deserve to be treated and will not back down from that.I know there are GOOD men out there but..WHERE????


Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Wed, 11-13-2013 - 8:17am
I'm glad you stood up to that guy. It was absolutely the right thing to do. As for match, I never had much luck there at all. I've read they use fake profiles and winks to get people to pay, but I'm not sure if they still do that. I always got lots of winks/emails before I paid from guys who didn't respond after I paid. I live in an area without many singles, though. I prefer to meet guys the old fashioned way these days. I have a lot more luck that way.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2013
Wed, 11-13-2013 - 9:34am

Every dating website is tough. It takes dating a boatload of men before finding a decent one, if you ever do. If you haven't tried meetups.com, I'd recommend that. People meet for group activities in your local area. Put in your city/zip code, and all of the meetups in your area will pop up. Men tend to gravitate to the ones involving outdoor activities like hiking, kayaking, bicycling, etc. Avoid coffee meetups, etc., as mostly women will show up to those. You could also try co-ed sports teams, bowling leagues, volunteer environmental cleanups, workshops at Home Depot/Lowe's. 

P.S. On a first date with someone you've never met, insist on meeting for coffee or a drink. You can't get to know someone watching a movie, and you don't want a guy stuck paying a lot of money for movies or dinner when you might not even like him. Good for you for not letting that guy know where you live. That's a dangerous thing since there are some crazy people out there. Once I had a great first date with a guy and I really liked him. I'm glad we still met in a public place on the 2nd date and he didn't know where I lived, because his crazy started coming out. Hope you start having better luck.

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Wed, 11-13-2013 - 11:56am

Funny, I was perusing CL ads last night for amusement. Eww, gross. However, I have heard of people meeting this way, I think it depends on where you live. In my neck of the woods: horrible.

I have two books to recommend to you regarding OLD: "The Rules for Online Dating" and "Fine, I'll Go Online." First of all, the point is to get to a first meeting as soon as possible. I know you probably just aren't comfortable wtih OLD, but three weeks is a long time to email in the OLD world. Second of all, only meet for coffee or drinks, and obviously meet the guy there, don't have him come to your house. I don't care how nice he sounds. And, you have no idea how loooong a dinner with a boring guy can be--better to be able to cut it short. And obviously, suggesting coming to your house to watch movies is out of line--it's pretty obvious to me what he was thinking.

But here's the thing: you're going to have to grow a really thick skin to do OLD. There's a lot of chaff to separate from the wheat. People can be rude, or sleazy, or just weird. It comes with the territory. You just move on.

As far as where the good men are? I think they're all tied up in a closet somewhere.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 11-13-2013 - 2:21pm

I think it's all the luck of the draw when it comes to OLD sites.  Although I'd say that if a guy has to pay, even if it's a minimal amount, then MAYBE he'll be a little more serious about trying to find someone than the guys who stay on the free sites for years.    It did seem to me that there was a slightly better caliber of men on match.com than on POF and I also like the way they set up their profiles.  I think you can learn a lot about someone when they have to write things themselves.  

I agree that you were right about not letting the guy come to your house, but I wouldn't have gotten so upset about it.  I would have just said no.  Otherwise, you'll be getting very upset all the time about people you don't even know & who don't care about you.  And I'd try to meet ASAP--then you won't be wasting weeks on someone who might not pan out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2001
Wed, 11-13-2013 - 6:46pm

Lol, I have tried literally almost every site out there.  Match, Zoosk, POF, Date Hook Up, Senior People Meet.  Honestly, I have seen the same men on all the sites.  And I'm sure they must be thinking the same about me....I see her on all the sites! 

Wish I had an answer for you as to where you can meet a good man.  If I could then I'd have the answer for myself!

But don't give up & Good Luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2006
Thu, 11-14-2013 - 12:45am

Thank you guys for all your thoughts. Yeah I will have to go through a lot of bad apples to get to a good one..:(

I too am on different sites also and it's so true that you see the same guys on there so that's why with CL...I ended up going 4 hours outside my city to see what I would get.

Well I did get a few chuckles out of you guys posts especially the one who stated that the guy's crazy started to come out after the 2nd date. Yeah...my home is my sanctuary and I would have to be with him for about a month before he would know where I live.Anyways I'll let you guys know if or when I ever get  a boyfriend again :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 11-14-2013 - 2:39pm

What's funny is that you see all these perverted ads on CL for guys who just want sex, but my friend actually did meet a long term boyfriend, very decent guy, through CL.  She's the only one I know who met a guy there however.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2002
Sun, 11-17-2013 - 8:31am

Hi,

Interesting you should ask about this particular site - I was on it years ago and didn't find it very effective.  Basically there are the same people on there all the time - I traded winks and emails with a few, but other than a few (very uncomfortable) dates, nothing came of it.  The other thing I found with them is that you are on "auto-renew", where they just continue charging your credit card each month, until you opt out.  I suspect many people are still on there (paying), but no longer active.......I really wish they wouldn't show those commercials that they do on tv showing all these great "Match.com" dates......it's sooo misleading and makes other people in your life expect you to sign up and meet Mr. Right within a week........anyhow, not great experiences with this one.

I'm not sure if you have this in the U.S., but do you have access to eHarmony? The whole matching process is more thorough, so you're not just corresponding with random strangers.

I'm not a fan of OLD anymore now that the internet has exploded (there were actually a couple of cases of fraud on Match, where people were contacting single people and eventually trying to extort them for money), but this method has proved successful for a few people......

Good luck and above all else, stay safe!! :)

Mel

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sun, 11-17-2013 - 12:23pm

I actually thought EHarmony was the worst of any dating site I tried.  I like to look & make my own opinions of people.  After answering all those questions, they would send me so many men that did not meet the criteria (like way too old or too far away).  At first I'd be getting 8 matches a day, then days would go by with no one.  I hardly ever liked the guys they sent me.  I actually only had one email correspondence with someone--that lasted for one day, then he disappeared.  I never met one person in 3 months.  Oh but the one funny thing was that one of my matches was someone I actually knew IRL and had gone out with--I had met him on another dating site many years ago.