match.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2003
match.com
14
Mon, 05-19-2003 - 1:46pm
Hi Everyone...I notice a real difference between match.com and other internet dating services. When I get a response from someone at match.com, it NEVER includes an email address that I can use to reach the person directly. But on other internet services, I often get the real web address of the person. Is there something going on here that I don't know about? I give lots of hints in my profile that I would like the real email address, but nothing happens. Any clues? I was thinking of posting here the handles of the match.com gals who have written to me not knowing that I can't respond. They probably think I have rejected them. Match.com is deceiving them by letting them think I can respond. They should really tell them which people are paying members and which are not. Have fun. Nerdyguy609@hotmail.com

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Avatar for schnappsers
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: nerdyguy609
Mon, 05-19-2003 - 2:03pm
I think people who use the site are aware of how it works and will probably suspect that the fact that someone's not a paying member is a possible reason for a lack of a response. If you're really concerned about how it appears when you don't respond, why don't you either remove your profile or become a paying member? Join for a month and quit if you don't feel it's worth the money.
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
In reply to: nerdyguy609
Mon, 05-19-2003 - 2:42pm
I took my ad down on match for several reasons. Your gripe is one of them. I signed up just for fun anyway, but when there is a cost associated with it, there's no point for me. They also offered me a free trial, then charged me for it. That really ticked me off. Lastly, at any given time, there might be three guys tops that catch my attention. It's just not worth it.

If I were you, I'd just take my ad down and find another site that doesn't have that policy. Most of them do, though, so you might be searching for awhile!

Good luck. I know this dating stuff isn't easy.

Avatar for schnappsers
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: nerdyguy609
Mon, 05-19-2003 - 2:45pm
I've found a few sites where you can respond to messages for free: americansingles.com, yahoo personals, and Lavalife. But, I've had the same problem as you...very few of the guys on the sites are of any interest.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: nerdyguy609
Mon, 05-19-2003 - 4:17pm
When I write to someone I am interested in I give my aol address as well in case they are not members. Match is a business and is entitled to make a profit - yes it would be simpler if they made it obvious re the email addresses but most figure that out sooner or later - why not just join?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2003
In reply to: nerdyguy609
Wed, 05-21-2003 - 10:05pm
This whole e-dating thing could be a message board on its own. I'm new to it (2 months) and have found a really disturbing pattern...guys who don't (or won't) close a deal. They want to "chat" and e-mail ad nauseum. I REFUSE to suggest moving it to the phone etc. because I feel like if they're really interested, they'll ask to speak to me with a few e-mails. Be careful. You can end up spending boatlaods of time on these sites instead of being out MEETING people. I'm speaking from experience, I've done it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
In reply to: nerdyguy609
Thu, 05-22-2003 - 10:04am
I too think the whole online dating thing would be an interesting message board on it's own. My two cents is that I just am glad I don't take it seriously anymore. Back in 1998, when having a computer in my home was a relatively new thing, I explored AOL photo personals as well as Match.com. Someone named Schnappsers (?) posted here about a couple of men that wanted more pictures of her, as well as men who would just disappear on her. That was my experience too. I would get hot and heavy e-mails from these men on AOL and Match.com and then either they didn't like the additional picture I sent when asked, or I must have said something wrong, but all of a sudden the e-mails would just stop cold. I remember having a divorced man say that I "disappeared" on him, after my talking to him on the phone one time and all he did was complain about his kids and his ex-wife. During that conversation he did say that he knew a lot of people who said, and I quote "It's easy to get laid on AOL." Scary, at least to me. He sounded bitter that he wasn't having the same luck that his friends were having. I am just happy that I stepped out of the whole thing some time ago. None of this is to mention the married men who were e-mailing me. I had put down in my personal "No kids, a nice full head of hair, single" men was what I wanted...and guess what I got, lots of bald guys with kids and married guys.
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
In reply to: nerdyguy609
Thu, 05-22-2003 - 10:25am
Is this what you mean?

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlcyber

I don't post on this board, and would hate for anyone to leave this one (imagine puppy dog face here), but the cyberconnections board seems to be what your talking about. Maybe you could pop over there (and then come back here, of course!).

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
In reply to: nerdyguy609
Thu, 05-22-2003 - 10:35am
Gee! Thanks for the link---I didn't know there was a whole board on IVillage just for Online connecting! I hear that some people find good relationships online, but my experience and reading the experience of others who post about trying to find love online---it just seems that the majority of people go through a lot of angst in that process. Thanks for the link---I bookmarked it...
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2003
In reply to: nerdyguy609
Thu, 05-22-2003 - 10:41am
Thanks for the link, it looks like there's some good stuff there.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2003
In reply to: nerdyguy609
Thu, 05-22-2003 - 10:45am
I envy you that you are away from all that. I'm the kind of person who has to beat something to death before I give up. So, here I am, on line, trying to make it work out. As my grandma used to say, "don't keep going to the butcher for butter". I'll get over it.

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