Maybe someone knows why...
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Maybe someone knows why...
| Thu, 08-17-2006 - 3:47pm |
A few months ago I bumped into a guy I hadn’t seen since high school (we’re both 28); apparently we hit it off and hung out a few times; then I didn’t hear from him. I bumped into him 2 weeks ago, turned out he lost his phone ( I noticed his new phone) and he wanted my number. I received a call (around 6am) a week later; turns out he’s intoxicated and confessing how much he thinks about me, why out of the blue we bumped into each other after all these years and he can’t get me out of his mind, how it’s my fault he thinks about me. He called me 3 times in a span of 20 minutes wanting to see me, wanting me to come over so we can sleep (no intercourse, just to “sleep”) and he wanted to wake up with me next to him (we’ve never had intercourse ). I told him I couldn’t because he’s drunk and to sleep; that we can talk later. Mind you, he’s a very nice guy…always had been since I can remember (I knew him since 8th grade) . I left him a message few days later asking if he wanted to hang out on that Friday; didn’t hear from him, so I sent a funny text on that Friday…It’s been a week and nothing. Can someone explain? I always thought the truth comes out when someone’s drunk…

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Adrastos,
One drunken phone call is a long jump to being a stalker but irrespective of that, I agree with your post that calling someone you barely know in the early hours of the morning is disrespectful. By condoning his behaviour and chasing after him, all she has shown to him is that she is a ready and willing doormat and he can take advantage of her feelings for him. A 'nice' guy does not make drunken booty calls to women and no one out of high school, should be stupid enough to fall for the "I want you to come over and cuddle" line. I don't think he wants to date her but I think she is probably going to get a drunken phone call again in the future.
Feisty
>A 'nice' guy does not make drunken booty calls to
>women and no one out of high school, should be
>stupid enough to fall for the "I want you to come
>over and cuddle" line.
Agree 100%! I feel nothing but despair when I read some of the advice women have given in this thread.
Hal,
Yes, it sends shivers down your spine doesn't it? Some women are too understanding and I think if the OP had given him a piece of her mind, he would have looked at her with a new found respect or he would have skulked away quietly. I want to know what women think constitutes being a nice guy.
Feisty
Edited 8/20/2006 4:05 am ET by rubyshoes03
Wow there are serious judgements going on in this thread!
My 2 cents - I agree with the girl here who said just wait a couple weeks. I bet he's extremely embarrassed and possibly even feels rejected even if there wasnt anything that you could or should have done about it. Just give him a little time to lick his wounds and then give him a call and ask him to hang out again. If he is actually really into you he probably feels horrible but once again theres nothing you can do about it so dont even try. I dont really think that anyone has a good judgement when still drunk at 6 in the morning. If he does something like this again its probably a good foreshadowing of what your relationship is going to be like so.. just keep that in mind. But personally I think everyone should get the benefit of the doubt in the beginning. If this turns out to be something you want to pursue you certainly wouldnt be the first couple in the world to start like this.
>just wait a couple weeks
Ermmm....wait a couple of weeks for what exactly? For him to turn into a real man and learn the meaning of respect, dignity and social protocol? He is 28 not 18.
>If this turns out to be something you want to pursue you certainly
>wouldnt be the first couple in the world to start like this.
Sure, there are plenty of desperate and insecure women that will take ANY man that shows a bit of interest in them. I am certain that she won't be the first to regret it either. There are *genuine* nice guys that are much better than these pretend ones that you are prepared to tolerate.
Dude - whats up with the holier than thou attitude???
I have no idea what NY girl wants to get out of this so I cant speak for her. But is it completely impossible for you to comprehend that sometimes a woman is not looking to marry the guy, she just doesnt want it to end right then right now. She might need to get this out of her system or explore the nature of the chemistry between her and the guy. Sometimes people arent looking for THE ONE, some things are just for practice and deep down we know it but its not as much fun to constantly think about it so we entertain the romantic idea of the current fling going somewhere even if its not the end destination. Sometimes people just mess up or choke! Geez man! Women do it all the time so why shouldnt men do it too?
This girl has already said that she knew this guy in high school, that she has been hanging out with him for a while before he made the drunk call. Ok I agree that the drunk call wasnt a very romantic gesture but at least this guy is out there living his life making mistakes and not plowing away on the message boards judging others.
The OP was a question WHY the guy wasnt returning her calls anymore. I didnt see anything in there whether he was marriage worthy or what. Different people want different things.
Lighten up.
>but at least this guy is out there living his
>life making mistakes and not plowing away on
>the message boards judging others.
Yes, I hate people who waste their time posting on message boards and making judgements-Hypocrites!
>I didnt see anything in there whether he was marriage worthy or what
If I am not mistaken you were the first one to mention something about couples starting out this way. Do you seriously think the OP is interested in a fling??? I can't work out what exactly you are advising. If the OP wants a fling, why bother with this idiot? There are plenty of men who can fill that role...sheesh...
I agree with Hal.
I might add that when someone is just playing around with an idiot, they may lose a real opportunity that walks right on by and they dont even know it.
Why waste your time? Yeah you might only want flings and they might not be good as gold, but there just might be the real deal behind door #2.
Dont make someone a priority, if they'll only make you an option.
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