Measuring up to expectations

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2006
Measuring up to expectations
9
Sat, 05-13-2006 - 5:23am
Do women compare the guys they have dated? If so what do you use to compare you ex's?
If you meet a new guy do you think of them in terms of what he is like in comparison to who you have been with before?
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sat, 05-13-2006 - 9:21am

Yes in some ways, no in others.


I compare the important things.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2005
Sat, 05-13-2006 - 12:32pm

I don't compare guys I date per say, but my expectations of future dates do change.

If a guy I've dated treated me very well in a certain way, he will have set the standard in that area up to his level. This way, I am always improving myself and my dates are moving me closer and closer to my ultimate goal.. which is an equal partner.

I find that when I date lower than I have experienced before that I am disappointed and wistful for the one who set the standard... in other words, always move forward and not back.

Don't guys do the same thing?

Hope this helps.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Sat, 05-13-2006 - 1:06pm

I do have a natural tendency to compare...but it is NOT a good thing, and it's a bad habit I am trying to break.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2006
Sat, 05-13-2006 - 1:41pm

I hope shes not. She does seem to like me though.

I am tempted to ask her though if she is comparing which is completely weird and rude I know so you dont need to tell me that but it is something that I am constantly thinking about so I have a huge desire to know if she is and what she truly thinks about her ex. I am not going to ask because that is just rude but it is just how I feel.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 05-13-2006 - 7:50pm
Congradulation, it seems like you have a target! Sorry that I was not able to keep up with your story, but are you talking about the same girl that you mentioned a few weeks before? By the way, I am NOT your clone, LOL, although it looks like we have the same problem!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 05-13-2006 - 8:33pm

Okay, I just went through every post and I am just going to list out my thoughts, because I am having a hard time organizing them....

1. Can I see a picture of you guys? You cannot be as hedious-looking as you said....
2. I am both happy for you and jealous of you.
3. Go pursue her. Even if things do not work out, I am sure that you will become a better, more confident person because of this. Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Sat, 05-13-2006 - 8:58pm
The only things I compare from guy to guy is what I DON'T want in a guy or what's NOT important to me. What I *thought* was important five years ago I learnt isn't important to me at all now. The beauty of aging: Wisdom. And the wisdom to know that I don't want to go down those avenues again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2006
Mon, 05-15-2006 - 2:01am
Well I feel for you, cuz I know what you are going through akt. The picture thing....have stacey or shy describe me lol. I am not hedious, I am just not exceptionally attractive...if girls see me they dont notice me or do a double take...you know what I mean? and I just wish I was good looking in that way.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2005
Mon, 05-15-2006 - 7:51pm
I tend to do more comparing when I first begin dating someone (e.g., he calls more than the other guy did, he has better manners, etc.). If it progresses to a very serious level, then there's no more need to compare--it should just be you and the person you're with.