Meeting men in the south is hard!

Avatar for noahs_mommy2007
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Meeting men in the south is hard!
9
Wed, 04-23-2003 - 2:27pm
I have come to the conclusion that if I want to meet a man, I need to move out of the south. I have even been told by other people that aren't from the south that men in other areas of the country are not as picky as southern men. It seems that every man down here only wants one of those cute little sorority girls that is tanning bed brown/orange, wears a size 2 and has lots of money. The average girls that have a few extra pounds, that don't tan, and that work to support themselves are left out in the cold. I am getting sick and tired of it. Even though I don't meet the fantasy girl requirements, I am a good person and I am a lot of fun to be around. I would make a really good girlfriend. Does anyone else notice this trend?
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-23-2003 - 3:43pm
I think people are picky all over (I live in NYC) my guess is the activities you do put you in contact with more shallow people than not - how about doing volunteer work, joining a community theater group, a book club, etc.
Avatar for noahs_mommy2007
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Registered: 04-17-2003
Wed, 04-23-2003 - 4:13pm
Well one of my problems is that I live in a college town so there are tons of these cutesy little girls everywhere. Actually though, every town I have lived in here in Mississippi has picky guys. I know lots of different types of guys and they all want that fantasy girl. It really sucks here.
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-23-2003 - 4:36pm
Sorry, but I am suspicious from your generalizations - you are talking about the men you know and you have met - and it sounds like many of them are likely interested in younger women - which has nothing to do with being superficial. I for one was not a cute college girl - well, sort of cute but not like you're describing ;-) My guess is that it is your negative attitude that may be a turn off more than anything else.
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-23-2003 - 5:30pm
i've noticed the attention i get from the opposite sex varies with the locale.

but i would never make it my sole reason for moving...

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-23-2003 - 5:32pm
Being from the south and living in a university town....there's a couple of things to consider. First - sex sells. So sexuality is going to be presented at all times - everywhere.

If you're from the south...and go up north and you're not 36/24/36 with a cowboy hat and boots and a dark tan and blue eyes with a drawl and low cut wranglers with cleavage running over the top of your tank top - they're disappointed and you're not living up to expectations!

If you're not giving off the appearance of being "from the south" and you're in the south - realize that the image that has been presented has been well-doctored and some of these girls have been out in the sun or on a tanning table or trying on silicone for size a little too long to realize it and are trying to live up - they'll pay for it later.

But men...aren't different although what is available based on location does differ. They want what their values justify adn entitle them to pursue. EVERYBODY likes an attractive person...but everybody has a different definition and version of attractive. So if a man prioritizes an emotonally bonded relationship based on admiration and respect of you as an individual - little Missy from Apaloosa won't appeal - if she doesn't have a brain and a good heart.

Erin

quickblade14@hotmail.com

Avatar for noahs_mommy2007
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Registered: 04-17-2003
Thu, 04-24-2003 - 9:43am
No, you are wrong. I am the same age as these college girls. I am a college girl, and I don't have a negative attitude. I am always accepting of anyone and love to meet new people. I have friends of many different backgrounds so it has nothing to do with my attitude.
Avatar for schnappsers
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-24-2003 - 9:49am
I think the negative attitude mentioned was referring to your negative attitude about your ability to meet men, not a comment about your disposition in general. I do agree that you seem to feel that no men will ever be interested in you there and you probably project that attitude, which might discourage someone from approaching you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-24-2003 - 11:59am
Now that I know your age your perspective makes more sense. Many college age men are not ready for a serious relationship - with exceptions of course. You are so lucky to be your age - so going back to my original suggestions, which you ignored, why not join the campus theater group, for example. Also whether you are open to meeting all types of people has little to do with your negativity about relationships and men - and that is very apparent from your posts.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Thu, 04-24-2003 - 2:21pm
I agree with Deena and schappers- you maybe looking in the wrong place. The frat house may not be the best place to meet the guy you're looking for (and trust me, I am speaking from experience). The worst thing you can do is feel stuck in a situation you can't control. You need to take control. Here's an example.

I had similar feelings about the men in college. Seven years later, I look back at my college photo albums and wonder why I was ever so insecure. I was a hot little number - I just didn't have the confidence to know it. By the end of my sophomore year I had had it was college guys. I sulked for a bit and then found a job waiting tables at a fun restaurant in the next town over. Everything changed from that point on. I was no longer stuck in the fishbowl of college and the pecking order it presents. I found an outlet and a group of people (guys included) that were more suitable to what I was looking for at the time.

Go out and find your group. You're at a great age. Enjoy it.