Men and the first date
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| Wed, 07-11-2007 - 5:54pm |
Does anyone else get annoyed with men who try to move too fast on a first date, and by that I mean they want to be making a 'home run' the first night they take you out?
I went on my first date since I broke up with my BF at the beginning of April. He was an abusive boyfriend, so I am really hesitant about dating.
This bloke picks me up at my house, takes me to dinner, etc. The things that bothered me about our first date were:
We went out in a group, which I preferred, but he had drama from the girl he had been dating previously at the club we went to later and disappeared until it was time to leave the club.
Four of us end up back at his house (my GF, her BF, my date and me). Most of the night he was very kissy, touchy and feely, and it was just a bit too much for me. I literally just met the guy that weekend and this was a first date!
Maybe I am old-fashioned and want to get to know someone before I jump into to bed with them.
Are there men out there who don't want to jump your bones the first date? It is really off-putting and not how I want to be thought of.
Oh brother - being single again is such a thrill!
Beach

To be honest, I've never had a guy try to have sex with me on a first date.
Shywon - I love your comment about losing their equipment.
Filiasan - Sex does make men stupid, doesn't it?
Now I wonder what vibe I am giving out, or what men live in my city! I had another first date and at the end of the night the guy grabs my hips and says something to the effect of, "I can't wait to get hold of these and show you what I can do!" Yuck!!!!!!!
Obviously, no second date there.
Maybe it's the English accent and American men have some crazy idea that European women are loose. I just want a man to act somewhat like a gentleman the first night, but maybe that's asking too much.
Maybe I just have a knack too of choosing some real savory blokes to date. I keep asking my friends if they know anyone and all they tell is they know women who are looking.
Great! Tons of ladies looking for some quality, and tons of men looking for quantity and never the twain shall meet! (To quote Kipling!)
Beach
I haven't had the experience on the first date of men trying to get in my pants but it certainly has happened loads of times before we even go out on a date.
Mostly guys think that if you are dancing it is an open invitation for them to completly maul you and touch you in inappropriate places. I hate it when guys think that because I'm dancing perfectly fine on my own it means that I'm just waiting and longing for them to dry hump me. Lately I've decided to not dance on the dance floor. I dance at the bar where no one is around me. They can look if they like but NO TOUCHY! this takes away their confidence and - horror of all horrors - they actually have to use their mouths and speak to me, I can be so inconsiderate.
And this doesn't just happen when I'm dancing. I've had all kinds of offers for sex without dating. Very rarely do I get an invitation to dinner or a movie but if I wanted sex I'm like a walking red light district. And I don't know why either. I'm not at all promiscuous, I don't dress like I'm asking for it. I certainly don't encourage them. I just give off some sort of unconscious vibe.
Just this past weekend my cousin's wife's father gropped me at his grandson's graduation party. He wanted me to get him a beer and instead of asking for it he took the opportunity to feel me up, or down in this case. Ew, either way.
That is exactly the reason why I don't dance, even if people beg me to!
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That is yucky! How inappropriate.
The dry hum dancing does kill me. You can be dancing with your GFs and some bloke sees that as the mating call and they'll move on in and this complete stranger will grab you in places considered off limits.
I actually renamed a now defucnt club in my city to the "Grope House". I went there only once and that was enough.
Reading the OPs I now wonder who is asking me out. Now I am even more freaked out!
Beach
>>> Maybe it's the English accent and American men have some crazy idea that European women are loose. <<<
I've heard the same thing, the other way around. European men think American women are loose.
Atleast they are getting it out of the way, you can go ahead & just cross them right off. Next! No bother getting to the 2 month mark to find out he's inconsiderate.
>>>Atleast they are getting it out of the way, you can go ahead & just cross them right off. Next! No bother getting to the 2 month mark to find out he's inconsiderate.<<<
You are totally on the mark there at least I get to find out they're a jerk from the get-go!
Beach
Hello,
That was an interesting date...sounded like things were getting too hot back at the place...with 4 people?!
Yes there are guys out there who dont want to have sex on the first date.
No its not old fashioned.
Take a look at the Red Flags during your dates to get a spider sense, on whats going to happen so you can prepare. Women are good with that sense.
Good Luck =P