Men aren't mind readers

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2004
Men aren't mind readers
4
Sun, 02-05-2006 - 10:27pm

Hi all.
I am glad I am remembered. I missed you guys.

First: Since it is near some peoples birthdays, I want to say, "Happy Birthday."
Second: Why can't men read our minds? I mean, sometimes that would be soooo much easier than me actually having to say what I want him to know.

For example, I wanted him to come over tonight. He has been sick, but it isn't contagious anymore, and I have barely seen him. We work in the same building, I just thought it would be easier if I drove him in tomorrow. But he doesn't want to come over because he says he doesn't want to leave that early. I didn't say I wasn't flexible. Plus, I would really like to see him. Why can't he just take a hint. Besides, it wouldn't be unheard-of for me to go in the morning and him to stay till he was ready to leave. I thought he would just show up because he wanted to see me too, but obviously not. And I can't go over there because his apartment is a mess right now and probably germ infested. Not trying to be mean, but he all but admitted it. He left his car at work on Thursday, so I drove it to him on Friday night along with a care package that should land me in the "Best Girlfriend EVER" book for life, and he didn't even call. Okay, I know he feels lousy, but now so do I. I feel neglected. Why can't he see that? Do I have to tell him? Maybe I am just being spoiled.

Ugh, men.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Sun, 02-05-2006 - 10:41pm

Yes you do have to tell him. Because men need direct hit-me-on-the-head conversations. There's no way around it. They don't always like it but unfortunately thats also the most reasonable way to have a discussion with them.

If you aren't getting what you want, and are not communicating it, then you can't blame him..ya know?

Good luck

Rubyshoes

Photobucket


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Sun, 02-05-2006 - 10:51pm
Yeah unfortunately you do have to tell them exactly what you want. Guys have to be beat over the head with what you want - they just don't "get" hints. And actually they usually prefer it if you are direct. Just say what you want in a non-confrontational way. If he can accommodate you, he'll tell you. If he can't, he'll tell you that too. But just be okay with the answer either way. He'll love you for it.
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Mon, 02-06-2006 - 7:51am

As a woman, sometimes we just need our man.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
Mon, 02-06-2006 - 9:23am

I think you do have to tell them exactly what you want, at least once. It's not that he doesn't care, he just doesn't know.

It's a nice thought that someone would just know what you want without you having to ask, but unless it's a repeating issue, they're not going to know. Keep in mind that people express caring and love differently, especially men. Just because thoughtful gifts and what not are your way of expressing you care, he may do it differently. The important thing is that he's doing it and that you're getting what you need.