To the men on this board.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2007
To the men on this board.....
43
Wed, 09-05-2007 - 11:15pm
I've noticed there are quite a few men on this board. I was thinking that we women should take advantage of that and get a few tips from you guys! I know you respond to many of our subjects, but I was wondering what random advice you could give us women about men??? What are some of your peeves about women you date, how often a woman should make the call, typical dating tips for women, things maybe we overlook. It would be a breath of fresh air if you could advise! What are your deal breakers and such. I'm looking forward to your answers!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Mon, 09-10-2007 - 9:05am

Thanks - yes, I was at one point a very serious competitor. Now it's more for fun, though. I still enjoy showing, but it's no longer about winning the World Cup or anything.

But running...ugh....I played volleyball for my college and I hated running so much I made a deal with the coach to let me swim instead of run.


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2007
Mon, 09-10-2007 - 9:38am

I seriously think that the first 2 guys, #2 and #3 for your answers are the wonderful guys we're looking for. The way they think. But they're not what is seriously out there!
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Just think Marine barracks, marines in the field, construction yards, whatever. I have spent most of my life in “places” pretty much dominated by men. The pigs are out there for sure in big numbers, but are Mark and I really so different? I am not so sure. We just happen to have an interest that brings us on this board to talk, really talk and possibly even learn something, you know? However lots of men want love, relationships, comfort . .. (-; I have spoken to hundreds of them.

And as sweet as this was for you to say, Allow me to be the first to assure you that speaking for my self at least I am without question a completely flawed human being. (-: I would not want anyone getting the wrong ideas. LOL Seriously, I am nothing special. There are lots of guys out there that have good hearts, they just don’t spend so much time talking about “things” . . one of my “male” jeans is broken I think. (-: I enjoy it.

We in America do not have government by the majority. We have government by the majority who participate.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2006
Mon, 09-10-2007 - 11:32am

>>The guy I'm currently seeing is a Lakers fan (he's from LA)--that's a little tough even though I don't care much about the NBA any more, I have to say, LOL!

Oh I agree, I just pulled a little face at my computer. :) I've never cared about the Celtics (but since I've been about...I don't know, six, they've always been terrible), but the Lakers are in the same family as the Yankees and the Canadiens (ok, I'm pushing it, but I'm a hockey fan)...these flashy, always-the-favorite teams. I take pride in the down-and-dirty, underdog, old Boston teams (which I don't really consider the Patriots to be part of, even thought I love them). That and if you're a Boston sports fan, you're just not allowed to like any of the aforementioned teams. :) BU has also bred me to hate BC, so college football's kind of a bust for me. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2006
Mon, 09-10-2007 - 11:35am

>>So I grew up being taking to all sorts of sporting events. I kid my son that he was spoiled - his first major league game was skybox seats right behind home plate.

WHAT?? People would literally kill for those seats in Boston...I've resigned myself to the fact that I will never sit there at Fenway unless I happen to get in good with the management, haha. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Mon, 09-10-2007 - 12:09pm
I got lucky - they were from a vendor when I was in private sector.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
Mon, 09-10-2007 - 10:05pm

Mark and Mr. Jarhead are 100% right!

Other peeves of mine....

I will always ask if you have something in mind you wanted to do. It's not that I don't have one, it's being considerate. I had a gal pal I was interested in that put me in the friend zone. I always asked her what she wanted to do and always gave me a nasty look. Thank god I don't talk to her any more...Man, was I naive.

If I'm mad of upset and you say "what's wrong?" and I say "nothing, I don't want to talk about it", just let it be.

When football season is upon us, DO NOT interrupt, it's three hours of hardcore armchair quarterbacking (unless you can tell me why a screen pass is the perfect medicine for an aggressive/pursuing defense or have a beer...hehe). We shall return very happy afterwards regardless of the score.

Please turn your phone off during a date!

Don't talk to me about other guys.

Be direct! Some may call you the b word, but I like that. I won't be constantly analyzing a situation or pulling out a female to male translator.

If we're going to target, don't take more than 10 minutes to get ready. If we go to dinner, then I understand.

Order food when I take you out, not salad and a water.

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Dealbreakers

Don't lie or BS me. It smells like bad cheese.

If the phone rings and you pick it up and the conversation lasts more than 15 seconds. DATE OVER. And I leave you the bill.

If you aren't nice to the waiter, to the hostess or service people in general.

Narcissism

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Approach men in bars that hang in the corner or away from the action, they're probably the good ones, just a little shy and intimidated by their competition. I would know, most of the time I'm that way. Once I open up, I'm a great talker and listener.

Don't let a guy EVER control you!!!! I hear and see too many relationships like this

I have the same fears, anticipation, anxiety after a date whether or not you liked me too.

If a guy approaches you anywhere, be receptive, even if you aren't interested, just say hi, listen for a second and excuse yourself while you go to the bathroom or something like that. It takes a lot of courage to approach, be nice.

I posted a long time ago about how technology has seemed to diminish the day-to-day interactions with people. I do my best approaches in the daytime. Whether on a train, waiting for my car to get repaired, at the bookstore, the dentist, or supermarket. If you stay off the phone and I see you, I'll approach. Oh and iPods as well.

That's all I can think of now. I'll post later if I can come up with more.

BTW citygal...you are a cutie ;-)

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Mon, 09-10-2007 - 10:42pm

How have ya been???

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
Mon, 09-10-2007 - 11:03pm
Thanks shy:-) Up and down. My mom died 2 months ago. And I just finished up my Master's degree and job interviewing like crazy. I mixed in a vacation in the middle somewhere. So it's been crazy. I missed this place. It gives me a little hope with women and life in general. I'll stick around now that things are settling down a bit
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2007
Mon, 09-10-2007 - 11:08pm

>>Approach men in bars that hang in the corner or away from the action, they're probably the good ones, just a little shy and intimidated by their competition. I would know, most of the time I'm that way. Once I open up, I'm a great talker and listener.

Guys, this applies to women as well. When I was out playing pool, I would always hang out on the side lines until I was up, play, and return to the shadows. One on one, I'm fine, but bigger groups, forget it.

Brenna
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Mon, 09-10-2007 - 11:18pm

I'm sorry to hear about your mom.