Men & Forgiveness
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Men & Forgiveness
| Tue, 02-14-2006 - 1:03pm |
I just had another friend go through something very similar to what I myself have gone thorough and watched countless other women go through and its made me wonder...how come men are so good at shutting down and moving on to another relationship if they are hurt by someone they love? Can men just really bury that stuff forever? Does it ever come back to haunt them? It seems like all men I know deal with rejection and hurt by completly shutting off their feelings and blaming the women who hurt them (ie labeling her a b**tch or saying she has issues etc)and just moving on to the next women. Doesn't love ever last for ever anymore? Are there any men who will try to work through a relationship and see problems from the women's perspective and actually know how to forgive? Is this something that imporves with age After watching countless of my women friends (and myself) have men in their late 20s professing to love them one day to completely not talking to them a week later when the women makes some kind of mistake, it really makes men a mystery....Can anyone explain??? Can men really just shut down on someone they loved forever? Anyone know an actual story of a man forgiving a woman who really wronged him even though she didn't mean to or is this just an urban myth?

I don't think they stop loving you, they just put it in a different place.
My sister describes it this way... she says men's minds are like different compartments: one compartment for love, one for work, one for sports, etc. Whatever is going on in one compartment rarely affects the others. Women's minds (and hearts) are like sponges - everything intermingles into one big mess. :)
When men seem to shut down (from my experience), they just focus their attention on another compartment. The love is still there, but they have put it aside because it hurts too much, or for whatever reason.
Also, *some* of those men professing love are really professing lust or infatuation. True love is much more difficult to walk away from than infatuation. In the case of real love, I do think it does come back to haunt them, especially when they try to open up and start a new relationship.
AJ, enjoying life with C.
I had a year relationship that was THE most intimate relationship I had in my entire life... sexually, physically, spiritually, emotionally. I include my 19 yr marriage in this entire life as well. At the one year mark, she dumped me. I never felt as much emotional pain as that time. I literally felt my heart hurt. I also was angry. Then SHE got mad at me. After a year, I sent her an apology note for whatever sin I committed. She returned it torn in half with a scribbled explanation on why she does not want anything to do with me. I moved on but she still does not want any contact with me (4 yrs later).
I still think of her fondly for she influenced me in so many positive ways. I seek to find another (less angry) woman I can connect on all those levels again.
I'm not sure if I compartmentalize or just not feel as deeply or the same way as women. I know I can move on after a few months of healing/forgiveness.
Mark