Missed love means regrets forever?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2003
Missed love means regrets forever?
Mon, 10-27-2003 - 2:14am
Hi all,

I have been feeling so alone and hopeless lately. I have been dating and meeting men and no one is ever as good as my ex boyfriend who I have been broken up with for almost a year now. I feel so hopeless and have gone through so many dates and everyone is so dissapointing. Does anyone ever feel as if their long lost love is their one huge regret and that the missed opportunities will come to haunt you always? I feel this way and am so depressed I don't even want to live anymore. My heart hurts so much and there is a huge feeling of emptiness. Any words of courgage or advice or inspiring stories would be much appreciated . thanks

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Mon, 10-27-2003 - 7:18am

I think we all have a love from our past that we wonder "what if" about.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2003
Mon, 10-27-2003 - 8:22am

Hi there natash9,

I understand that things like this are rough. I have a friend who is going through something similar. She is always talking about how she misses her ex and wants him back. No matter how he treated her she still wants him back and her and I do go over this much. She is now with another man and I am sure he has moved in with her and she is happy with that, but still talks about her ex like he was the best thing that ever happened to her, but ocassionally I can make her see how unhealthy he was for her.

I do hope this is of some help to you and if you need to talk with anyone please feel free to email me at


Lots of luck and love, you are in my thoughts,

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2003
Mon, 10-27-2003 - 8:37am
Maybe you just need to change your perspective a bit. I've always felt that everyone who collides w/your life is meant to teach you a lesson(s) you must learn so that you can become who you must be.

Mine was RJ, a gorgeous hunk of man who I'd been working w/and friendly w/for years--til I lost weight. Then he put the moves on me, and naive as I was, I fell into the "he poked her in fun and she took it seriously" bit. I've come to realize now that I fell as hard as I did b/c he was the first one I encountered "after" (ie, the weight loss), and I was still re-socializing, etc. So it was a bitter blow to me that I found out he had just re-married, just DAYS after I declared my feelings for him!

That man haunted me for 4 long years, and even at the altar I was thinking about him. Happily, despite the divorce, I now come to see that his was My Last Obsession, and even though things didn't work out, the experience also helped re-socialize me again, and life went on til I thought I'd found The One, til he too had his own little red wagon...

But it doesn't matter. Even that ill-fated marriage and divorce taught me so many things, not the least of which is that, as the song goes, "even the longest night won't last forever..."


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-27-2003 - 12:49pm

I can definately and totally relate. I believe I have met my "soulmate"...but a r/ship between us will never work. That connection - so warm, comforting and wonderful feels good in the moment. Yet, when it is gone I feel so empty. Dating anyone else just feels so flat.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 10-28-2003 - 1:03am
you need to put him behind you before you can give any new guy a chance.

how can anybody compare to him? every person is unique. nobody can compare to him because nobody else IS him. you won't be able to appreciate a new guy for his strengths and faults unless you stop the comparison game completely.

perhaps... you should think about not dating for now. concentrate on making your life full on your own. give time a chance to mend the gaping hole he's left in your heart...