Missed my chance?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2001
Missed my chance?
4
Fri, 09-28-2007 - 2:55pm

Hi


As I am sitting here on my computer, reminded that fall is here, I all of the sudden remembered a time when the "good times" were here.

Soliel
Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Fri, 09-28-2007 - 3:09pm

I fall into that trap of looking back sometimes but I think it's important to be mindful of when it is happening.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Fri, 09-28-2007 - 4:02pm
I honestly think that neither of those guys were ultimately right for you, or you would be with one of them today. You followed your gut by saying no to these men - something was missing for you.

I was missing an ex of mine earlier this week, and reliving some of the same kind of memories you just described. I long for that kind of feeling again, and it's easy to just daydream about the past and think of those times as the good old days -- but I agree with the PP, don't look back. You have today and you have the future -- who knows what that future will bring. It could be even better than you ever imagined.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2004
Fri, 09-28-2007 - 5:17pm

This time of year does bring those feelings back for me to and yeah, it's not easy. The PPs are right though, try not to look back too much. It's hard especially if you're not dating anyone else, but try not to get bogged down in regrets either. I've passed up a few great guys myself but they were the right guys at the wrong time and I wasn't ready for real relationships with them yet and I needed more time to grow. And anyway, just look at it this way-- those relationships weren't meant to last for you. If they were, they would have.

We single gals often end up with these dry spells where it seems completely hopeless. I didn't have any real dates except hanging out with my ex every now and then for over a year, and then all of a sudden I got three dates in a row and the last one seems to have some real potential. I thought I'd be stuck in a vicious cycle with my ex forever but maybe it won't be the case now. you never really know.

As far as trying to get past the feeling that you've missed your chance, try doing things that are out of the box-- go to a completely different hangout in another city or town, even if it's an hour away, make the trek. Two of the last three dates I had I truly believe I got because I changed my patterns, put myself in new situations and went to completely new places and surprisingly, it worked. I wouldn't necessarily just go to a bar though. I'd try some sort of organized neighborhood happy hour where there's an organizer you can get to know who can introduce you around even. Just some ideas...

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2003
Sun, 09-30-2007 - 3:55pm

I completely understand how you feel.....I have the same thoughts...as turning 40 is right around the corner...trust me, it makes