Misunderstood

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2006
Misunderstood
16
Mon, 06-26-2006 - 5:24am

I post my thoughts and I know everyone is going to lash out or want to slap me or something because I am crazy or am wrong but what am I supposed to do when everyone I meet is the same...the old line about you're not looking in the right places-well then, where do I look?...or you havent found the right person yet...blah blah blah.

This isnt just a meeting girls and falling in love thing...this has to do with my family, my friends and the opposite sex as well...I have never felt I fit in anywhere, Everyone seems to look at me strange...I feel like the whole world is a party and I walked in and everyone looked at me like "who the hell is that and who invited him". I spent the holidays alone last year...neither of my parents cared to make plans with me, not that I have ever been close with them anyway. If I dont hunt my friends down to hang out with them, I would never see them. My troubles with women is well documented so I wont bother talking about that. I'll call this what this is...a pity party... boo hoo... but you know what...all my life I hear people say "just be yourself"... I have been myself and it has gotten me a big steaming pile of loneliness and emptiness. So the whole world can go #### itself!

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
In reply to: antisexy
Tue, 06-27-2006 - 2:36pm
Yeah, that happens, too.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2004
In reply to: antisexy
Tue, 06-27-2006 - 5:48pm

<< Therapy never really fixes anything, it helps, it temporarily soothes, but eventually you have to get back to real life and experience it and realize nothing gets any better...people are still jerks, people are still dying, starving, going to war, hating each other, building nuclear bombs, spreading diseases, everything, everywhere I look...in my own life and all around the world all I see is crap. >>

Well, but there are good things too in life, isn't it? Both good and bad. Can't you see anything good? If not, then why don't you yourself do something good for somebody, to add to this world, to teach the others the right way? If you do something good and be active, then there are not just bad things in this world any more, but then there is something good too.




Edited 6/27/2006 5:49 pm ET by pimbiroo
Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: antisexy
Tue, 06-27-2006 - 9:32pm

When I went thru Wings, a personal growth seminar company in Eugene, Oregon, one of things I learned there was that Life is a choice. I get to choose each moment how to live my life differently. That was both very fustrating and empowering. I also get to choose my attitude and outlook. This has not been easy for me and it's a continuous, never ending process but this revelation changed my life to this blessed place where I am today.

Ilove this quote which I keep of Albert Einstein, "There are two ways to live your life - one is as though nothing is a miracle, the other is as though everything is a miracle."

Mark

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: antisexy
Tue, 06-27-2006 - 9:36pm

I agree with kcol68 on choosing quality friends for I believe the best indicator of my spiritual health is who and what I attract in my life. In my dating excursions, I have met so many wonderful, deep, lovely women. I view that as validation on all the personal work I have done on myself and continue to do.

Mark

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
In reply to: antisexy
Wed, 06-28-2006 - 12:57am

I agree with you Mark, life is about choices. Thats why therapists empower people to make changes in their lives. Thats why therapists do what they do...to help people make their life a choice instead of an event in which they are participating.

I have a lot of family issues right now most of which involves feuds that are tearing apart both sides of the family and coming to grips with impending deaths.

And you know what? I've learned sooo much about humility and grace through all of this. I have learned that you only get once chance..ONE chance to make your life the way you want. There is nothing more humbling, frustrating, saddening and moving than holding a 6 month old cousin who is about to go into surgery her 2nd open heart surgery and not knowing whats going to happen. And nothing more humbling than knowing that child is stronger than you. That changes you right down to the core. And despite all the heartache and stress and dealing with major life changes like loss, I keep moving on. I keep living my life. I try not to worry about petty baloney that doesnt matter in the long run and concentrate on the more important things. We all came here with nothing but the skin on our bones and the potential to make something of ourselves. I hope when I'm on my dying day, I can say that I lived the best life that I knew how.

My point is we all have problems like this, everyday and some of us are worse off than others. But you dont stop making choices to Live. Not just exist...but LIVE.

Einstein was a smart man.

Ruby

Edited 6/28/2006 1:10 am ET by rubyshoes03




Edited 6/28/2006 1:11 am ET by rubyshoes03

Photobucket


Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: antisexy
Wed, 06-28-2006 - 1:14am

Wow Ruby,
I am in awe of you and your attitude!

Another piece of wisdom passed along to me that stuck was that most of us don't know when we are going to die and the only moment we are absolutely sure of is right now (ever read The Power of Now?) so we can choose to exist or choose to Live and make the most of this very moment we know we have.

HUGS to you and your family
Mark

Pages