Mixed Messages

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Mixed Messages
4
Tue, 04-29-2003 - 12:39pm
I met a guy at school who seems to have all the qualities I am looking for.

We’re in different classes at school, but have worked together a few times

to help each other out in our classes. About two weeks ago, he asked for my

number to discuss something pertaining to school and called me once to schedule

some studying, but hasn’t called again. He recently gave me his # to call him

“if I need help with school or whatever”. We get along great, and at school he

waits for me, walks me to classes, compliments me, and has even told my friends

that he thinks I’m pretty, etc. But still, no call & no date offers! So what’s

up? I’m thinking that maybe he is testing the waters, but guys don’t move THAT

slow do they? What do you guys think….is he completely uninterested, or maybe

scared of rejection? (Brutal honesty PLEASE).

Thanks in advance…..

Tracy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: t_sinclair
Tue, 04-29-2003 - 11:34pm
When a man is in his 20's or 30's, is emotionally stable/healthy, if he is interested in a woman he will ask her out - maybe just for a drink or coffee or an ice cream, but he will ask her out and his interest will be obvious. College/high school guys - possibly a little different - other issues such as hormones, peer acceptance, simply not ready to date, etc come into play.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: t_sinclair
Tue, 04-29-2003 - 4:44pm
two possibilities:

he's either a) insecure

or b) not sure he's interested in you


are you sure you still think he has ALL the qualities you're looking for?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: t_sinclair
Tue, 04-29-2003 - 1:38pm
He gave you his #...so if you are interested...CALL him! He DID call you...what happened? Did you meet for studying? Believe it or not, 99% of the time - the woman makes the first moves. Not in asking a guy out...but in giving him the "go ahead" signals. Flirting, touching, etc. I am just starting to realize this myself. Plenty of my guy friends have told me the same thing - they never made a move on me b/c I never seemed interested. Maybe you are acting too indifferent with this guy?

Anyway, I'd call him up - say you want to have coffee with him. Don't ask him to "study" b/c that won't clue him in. When you meet for coffee, dress up a little bit - not to the nines for coffee - but enough for him to see you are dressing up FOR him...

Good luck! Go.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2003
In reply to: t_sinclair
Tue, 04-29-2003 - 1:36pm
It's quite simple, actually. He's unsure. He's taking his sweet time making up his mind...which guys do alot. They do not think like us at all. We think things like "He hasn't called in a week, so he must be completely uninterested" when in reality they actually are interested they just haven't gotten around to calling. My brother is completely smitten with a girl yet he has never called her to ask her out(she calls him often, so she's obviously interested). Why doesn't he just ask her out? He's too chicken and he just hasn't gotten around to it (his own words). My advice is to just lay low (yes, I know how hard that is). Don't push him. He'll see you playing it cool and it will make him even more interested in you. Best of luck!