MOD please delete - thank you

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
MOD please delete - thank you
1
Fri, 10-18-2013 - 1:00pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 10-18-2013 - 1:48pm

I think you are kind of making a fool of yourself but I don't mean that to be harsh.  I think you have sincere feelings for him but he just seems like a jerk.  As you can see, he has many women on the line.  But of course if you asked him about it, he'd say that you & he have no relationship & no commitment so what difference does it make if he talks to other women?  I mean what exactly is the status of your relationship, aside from confiding in each other & seeing each other at work?  do you go out together on the weekends or after work?  I would be very skeptical of his declarations of love.  I mean has he actually told his Dw that he wants to separate?  I don't want to go into immigration law but even if they separated before the 2 yrs are up, she could still be able to get a green card as long as the marriage was valid when they entered into it--he could still help her get the green card.  It would be sad if he was lying to her about his feelings and then as soon as she gets the permanent green card, he'll be off.  I think the only smart thing you did here was that you haven't had sex with him.  giving him so much money is just crazy.  If I had a lot of money, I might loan money or even give money to a really good friend but I'm talking about female friends, not guys who you hope are going to have a relationship with you.  And if you are friends, then his actions dont' seem that friendly, they seem childish.  So far you have gotten yourself a reputation at work as the woman who is chasing this guy--I can't see that will help your status at work if people are talking about you like that, so I really think you need to dial things back and see what happens.  No more giving, giving, giving--what is he doing for you?  Start acting like you don't care that much about him--and hopefully that will come true.  Stop looking at his phone.  he has even TOLD you straight out that after he's divorced, he will not be ready for a relationship so don't waste your time on him.