Mr. Elusive: Long Story need help!
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| Wed, 10-19-2005 - 5:34pm |
Hello! I'm new and I need some help (I know this post is long but I'm desperate) :(
Met a guy in college, he never really noticed me at first until I told a mutual guy friend of ours that I thought he was gorgeous. Shortly after that we became aquaintances since we had this mutual friend and we saw each other a lot around campus. Shortly after we became aquaintances we ended up in 2 classes together (we have the same major). Well, when we ended up in these two classes we flirted a lot with each other (our mutual friend spilled the beans and told him how much I thought he was gorgeous, our mutual friend didn't tell me he told him but I know he did).
anyways, he was in a commited relationship at the time. He was actually living with his girlfriend and he really wanted to get married and have kids with her and even though he flirted with me he always seemed uncomfortable with it and would pull back from flirting when he realized he was doing it. But, for some reason or another (only he knows) he still always volunteered to work with me on projects and help me out with school work and he would call me up to help him out with school work. ONE DAY he even asked me out to dinner jokingly but serious.... but I never said yes or no cuz he was so "involved" with his girlfriend and I never dated anyone that was already in a relationship)
Anyways, He was always a very private and extremely shy guy. He only spoke to certain people and was really introverted yet confident and outgoing with those who he let "in". I was really flattered that he let me "in" since I never really saw him talking to any women on campus.
well the next semester, we had no classes together so we never kept in touch. All we did was say "hi and bye" and that was it. One day he see's me working on a project and he tells me that he and his girlfriend broke up and that she moved out. He didn't look depressed about it or angry or anything. I just assumed that it was just a fight and that she would be back and they would get back together because he never ever ever mentioned them fighting and arguing etc etc When we had those classes together he always talked really possitive about the relatinship and how it was going. Nevertheless, I said I was sorry this was happening and that I hoped everything went okay. Mind you, I was extremely surprised he told me about this because like I said he is extremely private and shy.
I never called him after that, but I did tell our mutual friend to tell him that I was asking about him and how he was doing. (I never called because I didn't want to make it seem like I was trying to be a vulture-like and going in for the kill right after his break-up). Anyways, right after our mutual friend told him I was aking about him he called me 2am on saturday morning..... NO DOUBT a booty call. I never picked up. The next day I told our mutual friend that I was not going to be his booty call. Surely our mutual friend told him what i said. He never called again and it was "hi and bye" just like before but still very friendly. BTW, him and the ex never got back together.
Anyways we ended up in a class together again...... From the very first day he was extremely friendly again (Like he was before when we had classes together). As soon as he found out we had a class together he wanted to sit next to me, he invited me to his house party, he volunteered to help me with my other class projects etc etc He was back to being flirty with me.
I got mad at him and asked him why he is only this way when we are in a class together why when we're not in a class together it's only "hi and bye". He said that he disagreed and that he was sorry I felt that way. (not that he was sorry, but that he was sorry I FELT that way). Thats all he said. He ends up eventually during this same class asking me to make him dinner. This is how he asked me "I lost 20 pds since my girl left me, can you cook me dinner". I felt very insulted. His TONE was like "I'm hungry, I know you really want me, so cook me dinner some time" type of deal.... I don't think that's the way you should ask someone out. I stopped talking to him. Even though I stopped talking to him he would come around and smile and be all cutesy/perky and greet me even though I never said anything back to him. He would just greet me and greet me until I finally broke and said hello back.
Anyways to make this shorterrrrrrrr....... he eventually sat me down and told that he didn't want us arguing. That he wanted us to be friends. That he was still getting over his break up and that he wasn't dating anyone and that he's not a player and to please not stop speaking to him he said That having this conversation was very hard for him because he was very shy and that he's doing it because he cares about our relationship. LISTEN TO THIS THOUGH... He still flirted with me! He would come up and hug me (he is **NOT** the touchy feely type). He would wink at me when I was looking his way, he would still want to work on projects with me etc etc etc....
well after his little speech about friendship, he did his disappearing act again. It was back to "hi and bye" small chit chat and that's it, he would hug me and wink but then keep going.... and then I run into him again and...... (see first (above) post to see what just happened)
Update:
I ran into the guy yesterday, I said a quick hello and kept going. He was sitting outside with a friend and me and my friend sat a couple of tables down from where he was at.
all of a sudden he looks back and calls out my name and asks me if I've taken a certain class that he is currently in and I yelled back no that I was going to take it next quarter. He was like "okay" but then he kept looking back at me (glancing at me) to see if I was still sitting and there and then break was over and me and the rest of the girls just walked back upstairs to class.

I agree.