My crushes

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
My crushes
14
Sat, 04-12-2014 - 11:32am
Why aren't things just easy for us?? I think I have a couple of crushes. I don't even know if I'd want to date either of these guys, but I would like to flirt a little more. I haven't been brave enough yet. The first one I mentioned on Ruby's post. I've known him casually for several years. Met him through his brother, who pursued me even though he was married. I've always kind of had a thing for this guy (J), but never acted on it. He moved away and has just recently moved back. I can't decide if he's just being friendly or if the glances and eye contact/smiles are signals I should be picking up on. He's never done anything inappropriate like other guys tend to do when they're trying to just get in my pants, so that's good. The other guy is a friend of my girlfriend that I play trivia with. I haven't talked to him much, but he's come to sit with us several times after trivia. Never stays too late. He was briefly seeing my friend's cousin, which just made me go ick. She climbs on anything that moves. Last Thursday, he and I actually talked and he seems like a decent guy. Again, the eye contact and smiles are something I can't read well. I know the second guy says he doesn't want a relationship with anyone, but he was dating someone recently. I don't know if I'd go out with him. Just flirting. The first guy...I think he might be a big teddy bear smooshy, easily hurt kinda guy who pretends not to be. I think that's why I haven't made a move yet. I like him as a person. I don't wanna mess that up. There is a third guy. Another friend of my girlfriend. Problem is- I think he wants to talk to me, but doesn't seem to have the balls to. He's cute. I'd probably date him. But I have a pretty strong personality. If he can't talk to me, we wouldn't work out. Now that my last guy FINALLY got the hint that I don't want him back (I hope...it's been since January), I think I'm getting my groove back. I just need to put it into action. I can't wait for summer!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2012
In reply to: shywon
Sat, 04-12-2014 - 3:39pm

Hey Shy, why aren´t things easy, indeed?! It does sound exciting with three options...! Wishing you the best of luck! Smile

My crushes are so far apart that I tend to make them bigger/more realistic than they are, and I am fully aware of it (dreamer and romantic as I am, but still down to earth - and slowly more and more a cynic). It can be years between each one, and it has become harder and harder to actually meet a single, dateable man. Be it at concerts, gatherings all sorts, the grocery store, you name it....everyone seems to be coupled up. And my friends obviously do not know any single men either, or so it seems. OLD gives me the creeps, but I do log on from time to time. It just doesn´t give me anything, in every meaning of the word. Why must it be so hard to meet someone in person, in real life? And as for that hunky hockey player, I have a strong feeling his contract will unfortunately not be renewed for another season due to the team´s extremely poor economic situation, we will know real soon... So that´s that. Before I even got to try meeting him in some way. My usual luck! Went to our new, lovely library with its cool cafe/restaurant today (very easily my second home!) and what a great thing it would be to meet a man there. I find guys who read books very attractive. Smile I am a huge "bookworm" myself and have always had my nose in a book.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
In reply to: shywon
Sat, 04-12-2014 - 4:14pm
I was going to ask you about your hockey guy. I saw the season was over. That's too bad. But at least now if you see him out somewhere, you can say "hey, aren't you that hockey guy?" You have something to say! I'm actually going out again tonight (I'm too old for it, but oh well). The second guy will probably be there, but I did a little 16-year-oldish snooping on his FB page and it still looks like and says he's in a relationship. When my friend asked him about her in front of me Thursday night, he didn't give a straight answer. Pretty much still said he was dating around. Hmmm. He may not even be okay to flirt with if he's taken. I'm pretty sure the other guy is working tonight. I could go where he is, but it's still legal to smoke there. Ick. I also did some snooping on his page. No influx of pictures with girls. Lots of his deceased mom and his brother and dad. And one post containing his phone number. I'm thinking he's not too worried about an influx of random women texting him! Who knows. Maybe I'll get to do some practicing on some poor, unsuspecting guy tonight!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2012
In reply to: rubysat
Sat, 04-12-2014 - 5:29pm

You go, girl! I am looking forward to hearing how it´s going. I have been watching hockey player´s FB page too, but as I am not friends with him there I am sure I cannot see much. Personally, I have strict privacy on my FB page. I wish I were going out more often, it is more like once a leap year or so it seems..... I have to get new friends who like to go out! For concerts and drinks, at least, as that is what I prefer. Discos/clubs are so not my thing anymore, awful music and hammered 18 year olds who cry or argue... Which is why I rather go to the concert place, there are not always concerts there. But the clientele is much older than the clubs, which of course is not always an advantage... Just read that it is actually not the team, but a local hockey organisation/sponsor who paid his salary this season, which is good news. If so, there is a small hope still. However, it seems like many of the hardcore fans are disappointed in him and think he is not good enough, saying he will definitely not make it to next season... Crossing my fingers that he will be kept on the team! I think he has played rather well, although I am not an expert... I have to tell you the great time I had with my out-of-town-friend last Friday! We don´t see each more than a few times a year, which is too bad - as we share a passion for rock music and we both have a favourite band (not the same one) we have seen many times including in other countries. We talked music all weekend and watched lots of You Tube videos until 3 am both nights, hehe. But, at the very cool concert on Friday I suddenly realised that at least half the hockey team was there! Not hunky guy though....too bad! I was starstruck by seeing some of them, although they are not stars in any way. They were celebrating the season even though they did not reach the finals, seemed to have lots of fun. One of the talented youngsters (22 or so) even gave me drink advice in the bar, LOL. :-) In the end, my friend managed to stage a photo or two with one of my favourite players as well as two of the younger ones. It was really cool! I was too embarrassed to ask for it myself, she staged it when I went over to put away my glass. I even got to thank him for a great season and gave him a hug. :-) And then we went almost front of stage to enjoy the concert.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
In reply to: shywon
Sat, 04-12-2014 - 6:10pm
People always say I need to go to different places, but I don't like unfamiliar territory for the reasons you mentioned. I have 2-3 places I like to go because they aren't overrun by young kids (under 30!), there is rarely a fight, and if so it's taken care of pretty quickly, and they are rarely packed. There is one place I go for karaoke that's had more fights than I'd like (maybe four when I've been there over several years) and it's always good for people watching. I've met lots of people there bc even though I don't go much, they know me because of my voice. People are more likely to talk to me since I'm known. You're definitely at an advantage now that you've met his team members. If you ever see them out again and he's with them, you can talk to them as a way of getting to talk to him. If we lived closer, I'd go back to that place with you! And if we saw him, I'd talk to him with the intent of introducing him to you! Haaaave you met my friend, Ruby??
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sun, 04-13-2014 - 10:51am

Somehow I didn't think that a place that does karaoke would attract people who want to fight!  lol  

I went out last night to a bar (kind of a dive, really) that is across the street from the beach to see a band that I really like.  They are well known and I'm surprised there wasn't a bigger crowd.  I went just with one friend.  We saw 2 men there we know.  The first one actually likes another one of our friends--they even went on a date once but she tries to make it clear that she just wants to be friends.  They are very different.  She is a very religious Christian who is looking to get married and wants to find a guy who is also very religious--this guy is definitely not for her, yet he doesn't give up--I don't know if some men just like the challenge of a woman they can't get.  I figure if she told him that she wouldn't have sex unless they were married, he'd go running.  Anyway, he did dance with me and my friend--he knew some other people there and was talking to them most of the time.

The other guy I had recognized from some swing dances but apparently now he is taking lessons at our school.  He was sitting by himself at the bar so both my friend & I asked him to dance (separately).  We thought he might be shy.  When the band took a break, he ended up coming over to talk to us.  He is actually a very nice guy--he's from London, still has the accent, he owns a restaurant.  Unfortunately he's not attractivey.  He has kind of bushy hair and a big beard, but it was nice to talk to him. 

I do agree with you that it's nice to have a wing woman.  The person who has the crush is always too nervous to talk to someone, but if you don't care if the guy likes you, it doesn't matter if you go up and start a conversation first.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
In reply to: shywon
Sun, 04-13-2014 - 12:58pm
So I took a huge leap last night (with the help of a couple of drinks) and gave the first guy my number. I was out, and he posted on FB that he was looking for something to do after he was done with work. I sent him a message (private) and told him where I was and told him to text me. He came and hung out for an hour or so, but was really tired. It was the first real conversation we've had. I'm worried I was rambling nonsense for most of it. Alcohol tends to do that to me. I did find out stuff about him that I didn't know. I still can't really read him. He walked me to my car and started to walk away, then came back to give me a hug. Nothing else. I'm going to assume he was being a good guy, because he totally could have tried something and didn't. I texted him when I got home and told him I was really glad he came. I suppose the ball is in his court now. If he is interested, I'm pretty sure he knows I'm open.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2012
In reply to: rubysat
Sun, 04-13-2014 - 5:04pm
That is great, Shy! Keep us posted! :-) I hope he contacts you, he sounds like a nice guy. I wish we lived close, I would have joined you on karaoke! :-) I love to sing and do it at home all the time, but I have been in a choir (two different ones) since I was 10 and am not used to hear my own voice really. Have tried karaoke a few times though, but being up there with more people who also sang with me. A wing-woman who is not as shy as me would be good, I really appreciated my friend´s effort last Friday. :-) I am going back there, alone or not. Yesterday I bought a ticket to one of my favourite bands of all times, there is a festival in the backyard of that place. Late June, have no idea if anyone I know will join - and I don´t care! Will enjoy it lots nevertheless. :-) BTW, what is going on with the sign-in? I tried 15 times and it didn´t work. Then I gave up and was on other sites instead, came back and suddenly I was logged in after all? Weird. And rather annoying...
Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
In reply to: shywon
Sun, 04-13-2014 - 7:53pm
The sign in issue is one that's been asked about many, many times and just gets ignored. I've pretty much given up on them fixing anything. I can be logged in and then suddenly it'll log me out. Hitting refresh sometimes works. I'll keep you updated on the guy. I really hope I didn't annoy him too much last night. I'm always worried about that.
Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
In reply to: shywon
Mon, 04-14-2014 - 2:12pm

I doubt you were as annoying as you thought; just popping on to say good luck!  I have nothing going on in the dating arena (what's new) so I am posting less and less . . . plus, I'm rarely on anyway.  Hope everyone is doing well!

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
In reply to: shywon
Mon, 04-14-2014 - 6:44pm
Thanks! I just hope he's as excited to see me Thursday as I'll be to see him. I always get smiles from him (and he doesn't smile much), so I'm trying to stay positive!

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