My first appearance
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|Sat, 10-04-2003 - 6:56pm|
Wow! Was that ever weird! Driving to the studio in the limo, I saw ppl trying to look in...and I kept thinking "its just me"...but then I thought, hey! I am an expert in my field so I BELONG here :)
It was a live taping...and I didn't screw up ONCE! But I did look around alot cause I could see all these TVs with my image on them...showing me what I looked like a few seconds ago...
But the crew & host kept telling me I was fantastic. And the other guest, a singer who used to be with the Temptations asked me to speak for his issue! So I guess I "done good".
It all seems so surreal to me tho. And I am realizing I have some slight self esteem issues. Like I am "not deserving" somehow. Two reasons: a women said, "we need ppl like you who are willing to fight for what you believe in. you are so amazing." and I kind of shrunk. I am not a martyr, I am merely a woman who makes a living in a great way. And the host said "not only a beautiful woman but a beautiful person." And again, it made me uncomfortable. I never think of myself as beautiful...and I know its true...b/c there is not a single model/actress or otherwise commercially accepted as beautiful woman who REMOTELY resembles me. And I am so fine with that! I have so MANY blessings in my existence, it doesn't even matter. I do believe I am a beautiful person. Some of the sacrifices I have been able to make...the faith I hold about the world and my place in it. I wouldn't give any of that up for the most beautiful face in the world ;-)
Anyhoo, thats my first tv appearance experience.
And its still the same old "Go" you know :)