My first appearance

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
My first appearance
Sat, 10-04-2003 - 6:56pm

Wow! Was that ever weird! Driving to the studio in the limo, I saw ppl trying to look in...and I kept thinking "its just me"...but then I thought, hey! I am an expert in my field so I BELONG here :)

It was a live taping...and I didn't screw up ONCE! But I did look around alot cause I could see all these TVs with my image on them...showing me what I looked like a few seconds ago...

But the crew & host kept telling me I was fantastic. And the other guest, a singer who used to be with the Temptations asked me to speak for his issue! So I guess I "done good".

It all seems so surreal to me tho. And I am realizing I have some slight self esteem issues. Like I am "not deserving" somehow. Two reasons: a women said, "we need ppl like you who are willing to fight for what you believe in. you are so amazing." and I kind of shrunk. I am not a martyr, I am merely a woman who makes a living in a great way. And the host said "not only a beautiful woman but a beautiful person." And again, it made me uncomfortable. I never think of myself as beautiful...and I know its true...b/c there is not a single model/actress or otherwise commercially accepted as beautiful woman who REMOTELY resembles me. And I am so fine with that! I have so MANY blessings in my existence, it doesn't even matter. I do believe I am a beautiful person. Some of the sacrifices I have been able to make...the faith I hold about the world and my place in it. I wouldn't give any of that up for the most beautiful face in the world ;-)

Anyhoo, thats my first tv appearance experience.

And its still the same old "Go" you know :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 10-05-2003 - 2:46am
I've been thinking about this at the back of my mind all day...and I realized there is a possibility that those ppl did see the "beautiful person inside" :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 10-05-2003 - 5:14am
i'm positive that's what they saw :)

i'm soooo happy for ya, go! way to ride the positive vibe wave!

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sun, 10-05-2003 - 11:31am

Go, I'm glad that you had such a great experience with this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2003
Mon, 10-06-2003 - 10:12am
Go, you felt the whole experience was "surreal" and that the accolades were "undeserving" b/c you hear the positive feedback all too seldom. That's what happens when we DON'T give ourselves or each other the credit we not only deserve, but EARN.

It's not that you're WEIRD, so why should the whole experience seem "weird" to you? Unload your personal dialogue, and admit to yourself that the whole thing was terrific and that you earned every bit of that spotlight.

As a result of the work I've done in my own field, I started to be invited to all sorts of events that, to this day, still amaze me. In '97, I flew aboard a Blackhawk chopper; went inside a submarine underwater; walked around a Navy aircraft carrier and destroyer; climbed inside an Abrams tank; and fired an Army howitzer gun. This is in addition to the C-5 flights I coordinate at work and have been for the past 12 yrs.

At first I didn't understand why I was going to these events, til I finally paid attention to the nice things these people were saying about me AT the events. I was there B/C I do a great job--so hey, I BELONG there!

That's what's happening to you--and, probably, to all of us. That's precisely why it's so important to talk about these events, to share in the basked glory of the recognition.

You've EARNED that glory, so why NOT get excited about it, and why NOT share it? Your awards reflect on ALL of us. Besides which, if you DON'T remember why you're there--b/c you DO such great work--you're liable to forget that you ARE doing a great job. And that's how you take it for granted, and never realize fully your true worth.

Don't forget, ladies: maybe YOU didn't go to job interviews where the interviewer asked you about your birth control practices or your marital plans, and I didn't either--but my sisters did, and they told me about it, and that time was only in the 60s. So most of us are doing jobs that were unheard of barely 40 yrs ago. Let's not take them for granted--and let's celebrate our achievements when they hove into view.

Go, nobody GAVE you the limo and the privilege of riding in it, or the "living that you make in a great way." You EARNED your day in the sunshine--so roll in it, WALLOW in it--it's high time you did!


Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 10-06-2003 - 1:06pm
Congrats on all your insights and realizations about yourself plus acknowledging the beauty that is you.

I missed on the "why" of your TV show taping but I filled in the blanks (I think).

Thanks for sharing yourself Go.