Is my girlfriend coming on to me?
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| Wed, 11-09-2005 - 12:44pm |
I have a little dilemna for you to help me solve.
Last week my friend (we will call her friend A) and I were trying to get to a movie but we didn't get there on time. SO she suggested a beer and snacks at Boston Pizza. We went over there....We are at the table, talking and she kept elluding (I hope I have spelt that right) that we were on a date. At first I thought it was all jokes and laughed. But later she would try to reach out for my hand and I would pull away and she would start laughing. But then later she asked me if I would look at her boobs. I was like what?!! No! She says "but you are a nurse can't you look at them and tell me if they look okay." I said "I am not a nurse yet and even if I was I wouldn't under any circumstances look at your boobs." She was concerned that they were mishapen but I commented that it could be cause she lost a lot of weight. And when you loose weight you loose it from everywhere. But if you are that worried you should go see your doctor. But she wouldn't let it go and it was really starting to freak me out. All I could think is next she is going to ask me to squeeze them. I asked the waiter for the cheque WE each paid our share and I took her home. It's all I could think about all the way to her house and then all the way home. But I don't really know how to take that. I have never had any of my friends ask me to look at their boobs before. And the week before she kind of went off on me that I like friend B more than her. And that I always want to spend time with friend B and have fun with her but Friend A and I don't do anything fun. (I wanted to say to her because you cancel any ideas of fun we plan to do or want to leave when ever everyone else is having a good time.)
My sister suggested perhaps she is a lesbian and is in love with me. But she knows I am not gay, especially since I was telling her, how frustrated I was getting with the girl from work who kept coming on to me and ignoring my saying no. She was the one that said I should be charging the girl with sexual harassment. Now she wants me to look at her boobs. But then on the other hand she is always asking me to go to these singles parties with her and speed dating. (Which I am not ready to go to yet. I am not even sure about the whole online dating thing but one of my friends from work told me I should at least give it a try. I guess I just want to meet someone the "old fashion way" by which I mean without technology. but this is a whole other issue) And now as I write this she is asking me about going out this weekend. Honestly if I wasn't already working and studying this weekend and going out with my mom I would still be saying I can't. I just feel scarred by the whole experience. What should I do?

Not enough evidence? Grabbing her hand, asking her if she'd like to see her boobs and alluding to their beer and pizza fest as a date would be enough evidence for me!
Kheta, you simply have to tell her (again) that you are not gay, nor will a relationship between the two of you ever be possible. If she doesn't get the message, you may have to steer clear of her for awhile. Some people just can't take no for an answer.
I have a friend who always thinks girls are hitting on her and she has not confessed, but she is homophobic. Therefore anything somebody did, like a kiss on the cheek or what not, was somebody hitting on her. Sometimes people are more comfortable with affection than others, too. I would never change in front of my college pals when we lived together. But other girls had no problem running around with their tops off. Also people do things in order to get attention, regardless if it makes sense or not. It does not mean they're gay. Now if it were something as obvious as a kiss and the girl came out and told her how many feelings she had for her, then yes, I would say she was comming onto her. Anything can be conviluded if all the information is not there.
She definately wasn't make a joke and grabing my hand. I know the difference. She definately was trying to hold my hand across the table and she wouldn't let the fact that we were on a date go. We see each other just about once a week. It's not like we made these huge plans and it took all this scheduling to get together. I certainly have joked with girlfriends before that we were on a date because it had been such a long time seeing each other or getting together. Or even when we all happen to be single at the same time. But it's certainly not something that is brought up repeatedly in the tone she did. Her extreme jealousy of when I spend time with other friends. And if I suggest that all of us go out together she never wants to. It's either me alone or we don't get together.