My life has no direction
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|Sun, 12-18-2011 - 10:37pm|
Hello...I am actually 28 but I am posting on this board because we do not have a "Life in our twenties" board....all the other twenties boards seem to want to talk about relationships and I didnt know if I should post this on there since its not about a "relationship" persay....
Anyway, I just need....someone to talk to I suppose. As I said, I am 28 and I feel like my life has no direction. I'll give a brief backstory....I lived in FL for the last 8 yrs....I recently moved back to my hometown back west...mainly due to financial problems. I do NOT live at home w/ my parents. I managed to get an apt of my own....the cost of living here is just cheaper is all. Anyway, I've recieved alot of judgement from people for moving back. My hometown is not the best place in the US to live, I get "why would you want to leave FL?" all the time....truth of the matter is....I had ALOT of personal problems and believed I was making the right decision to move home. I have been here 3 months.
I say my life has no direction because....I have no idea what I want to be when I "grow up" sadly, the profession I have choosen does not pay well and NO benefits are offered (both states I have lived in is the same thing....) when I first moved home the idea was to go back to school. Honestly, I dont know if school is the right thing to do right now. I have no idea what to major in. And since I live by myself, I HAVE to work as many hours as I do, I cant cut back....simply, it seems I just dont have alot of time for school. People ask me all the time what my "plan" is....do I plan to stay in this city, do I plan to go somewhere else, etc. I am sick of discussing my "plan" .... I feel I lost respect from some friends just for moving! Sadly, this is all from people that never lived away from home...most these "friends" are 29 and live w/ their parents still. Or they married for money, etc. I am trying to do it all on my OWN which is very tough. I rarely take handouts from people...
Anyway, basically....I just feel there is no direction for my life. I saw an army recruiter a few months ago. I thought "well, maybe I could join the military?" Ive applied for jobs abroad, and on cruise ships and out of state.... basically I have no direction or purpose and constantly feel I have something to prove....to everyone. I dont know how I got here. I cant even have lunch w/ my mom with out "whats the plan?" IS it ok to NOT have a plan?
I am single w/ no children, and I am even getting crap for THAT....things like "your running out of time" .... my younger sis is 26 and has a husband and a house...I feel like