My Problem
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My Problem
| Mon, 09-10-2007 - 11:49pm |
So, I am guessing if few people start saying the same thing about you, chances are it's true. Hahaha! I was recently told by a guy friend of mine, that I am very sexual. No, I don't sleep around but I am very comfortable with my sexuality and can talk about sex with all my friends quite easily. Apparently, when I like a guy, I come on sexually strong, like I am very flirtatious etc. This makes the guys more interested in me sexually than long term. My issue is, for me, I've been like this all my life. I was like this when I met my ex (and I am one of those people with at least a month or two of dating before sex) and was with him for 9 years before he passed away. I've always been flirtatious and giggly person. The way my personality is, even if I am not flirting, at times people think I am. If this is really the reason why I am not doing so well in the dating world, is there a way I can stop it?? I seriously just don't go out there flirting with people. Yeah, if I am interested in somebody, I will flirt with them. How do I stop coming on as sexually strong because sex really is not the first thing on my mind when I meet somebody I like. I am getting tired of guys wanting to sleep with me...that's if they get passed the shock that I am really single. The weird thing is, although I may come off that way, I don't think I even have the balls to talk about sex with my date unless we've gone out a whole lot of times. Any advise?

Are you really flirty or just overly friendly? Maybe for a while try to be really conscious of your body language (hard to do, I know), and then think about it later. If you were an outside observer, how would you have viewed that behavior?
Another option, if you have a friend you trust to be brutally honest, ask him/her to let you know when you are coming on too strong and maybe they can help you tone it down a bit.
Does this overly sexual behavior come out mostly when you're drinking? If so, you might want to consider avoiding alcohol when you're in a situation where your body language could be misinterpreted.
Actually, I don't drink at all. I can hardly, hardly finish a quarter glass of wine. Drinking is just not my cup of tea. You are right, I should ask some of my friends to keep tabs. My girlfriends don't think I am overly sexual at all. They think I am way too friendly but not in a sexual way. Some of my guy friends beg to differ :)