My shriveling backbone

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
My shriveling backbone
18
Wed, 04-11-2007 - 7:15pm

Before you all jump on me, this has nothing to do with dating!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Fri, 04-13-2007 - 12:24pm

The thing that kills me in all of this is that good teachers - people who care - are beat down by the system. It's your job to help kids learn something, but the school system doesn't allow you to actually do that job effectively. It is so aggravating, and I really feel for you and all the other teachers out there. Even the best intentions are being squashed.

The kids may have the best self esteem in the world when they are 'passed' even with Fs, but how many of those same kids will be able to keep a job if they don't do any of their work?? Will a boss accept a report that's blank? How will their self esteem look after they get fired?

I firmly believe that they need to learn now that positive consequences come from doing your work and trying hard, and negative consequences come from not doing anything. It sickens me that administrators don't get that. Or parents. I mean come on -- parents need to learn to help their kids at home as well, and not keep pointing their fingers at the teachers. Seriously, parents, take some responsibility.

ARGH~ Ok, rant over. :)

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Fri, 04-13-2007 - 1:16pm
Just some food for thought - I have an uncle who repeated a grade, maybe first or second. He is the most successful of his siblings - he has his masters degree, a nice house, married with three great kids, is a police captain on the force he's been with for over 23 years, and he's VERY smart with stuff like politics and investments. My grandmother always says that she's thankful he repeated a grade so he could truly learn instead of just moving on for the sake of moving on, so I totally agree with your sentiments on the whole repeating a grade thing.













iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Fri, 04-13-2007 - 1:27pm
I, too, think that too many parents blame teachers for their kids' problems. Granted, just as there are bad doctors, bad lawyers, and bad cops, there are bad teachers. But I believe most teachers are good and want kids to do well and succeed. But some parents are so busy trying to keep up with their next-door neighbors and their next-door neighbors' kids, both parents are working more than actually spending time with their kids, and they refuse to take responsibility. It can't be MY kid's fault - it must be someone else's! Let's point fingers at the teachers, the principal, the school system...it goes on and on. I once knew someone who had three romantic relationships fail because he was physically abusive to the women. All three relationships ended badly. This person's mother blames the women, saying they were "cheapies" and "crazies." Of course - there's just no way HER son was in the wrong! It MUST be the womens' fault!













Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Fri, 04-13-2007 - 10:31pm

There's a foggy line as far as their self-esteem goes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2004
Sat, 04-14-2007 - 10:06pm

Thank you for trying to both educate these kids and teach them some life lessons as well. Being in HR - I'm the one that's going to be employing them in 20 odd years time. Mind you, to the poster that said how are they going to feel when they get fired? Probably pretty good - they'll just sue and and get a huge payout. Hmmm... maybe a little sarcastic of me. This whole "the world owes me" not "you get out what you put in" era's starting to get a little tired.

I must back up Stacy's comment on her uncle. I should give some local (Australian) references - having been educated in both countries, there are differenences in systems. In my state, Primary (elementary) school is Reception (age 5) to Year 7, High School Years 8 to 12. We don't generally have 'middle school', but some R-12 schools are moving that way. Teachers apparently wanted to hold me back in about year 2 or 3, but my parents convinced them to let me through (it was even happening in the early 80s). Come to year seven and moving into high school, I wasn't ready. I KNEW I wasn't ready. I held myself back and repeated year seven at a "Reception to year 12" school, and moved on to high school with my new class mates. I now hold both a bachelors and a masters degree, I've lived around the world and love my job and am good at it - but I also know I have more to learn before moving upwards (unlike a members of the generation behind me, but that's a whole different rant). Another girl did the same thing in the same year - we started year 7 together. She now has a PhD and teaches in universities in the UK.

Some kids won't be good at particular subjects, some never will be streight A students. but I think it comes down to the parents and how well they know their kids - not knowing their kids means they don't know what to realistically expect from them. A high school friend of mine, who was a streight A student, was reading through her report card, and had gotten a couple of B's due to slacking off. She was starting to berate herself when she overheard a classmate, who always tried hard, but just wasn't academically minded. The classmate was ecstatic over her report card and said "streight C's - Mum's going to be sooo proud of me, my hard work's paid off". My friend shut up at that point and it's been a lesson she's carried since - she works her butt off at everything. Having smarts helps, but it's the work that's gotten her where she is.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Sat, 04-14-2007 - 10:29pm

Once I aspired to be an English teacher...

I'm glad I went for an 'easier' profession. Working with the ugly.

Because damn, I wouldnt want to be a teacher these days! I commend you Shy, you have one of the hardest jobs ever

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2007
Sat, 04-14-2007 - 11:28pm

This whole post really upsets me! I do NOT understand kids, parents or executive education decisions (I wasn't sure what to call it but I'm sure you get what I mean). I too know a number of educators (including Kelli) that truly care about TEACHING today's youth and IMPROVING the quality of education - but they get SO LITTLE support from parents and the education system. I honestly don't know how you do it but I admire you. I think if I was a teacher I'd feel the need to discipline those kids that don't seem to be getting it at home. And then end up in court or something, eh well.

So did the parents have to sign the reports you sent home? How can you be sure the kids actually gave the report to their parents? So aside from seeing the parents at the function have you heard from any of them?

Just wondering!

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sat, 04-14-2007 - 11:51pm

Thanks for the support.

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