My weekend in Bizzaro-Boyland
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| Mon, 06-18-2007 - 2:53pm |
I had a very interesting week in an alternate universe that I will call Bizzaro-Boyland.
It started on Thrusday I went out on what was beknownst to me, a blind date. I say this because I am not dating right now, I just ended an engagement and am really not interested in dating at all. But I just moved to a new city and a former co-worker hooked me up with her nephew so I would know some people in the area. He called me and we went out. He referred to never being out on a blind date and asked if I had ever been on one. I said "no" and thought "and I'm still not". But that is neither here nor there. He was talking about how his roommate was supposed to take a girl out that night as well and he said the roommate talks about this girl all the time, a little too much acutally. He said that the roommate didn't want the girl to get the wrong impresssion. I think he doesn't want the girl to think the guy wants a relationship and all but the blind date goes on to say "he doesn't want to be just friends". Hmm, ok well yes occasionally some guys I guess like girls and want the whole 9 yards with them. Not yet quite in Bizzaro Boyland but coming to the enterance.
On Saturday I go to my apartment buildings pool. I was the only person there for about an hour.
Two guys come to the pool after that. The one was extremely good looking the other was probably very goodlooking to some girls. He was the meathead muscle guy who's T-shirt, if he were wearing one, would have been 2 sizes too small. I would have guessed he would have been very impressed with himself in a conversation.
I was overhearing their conversation and was shocked by what I overheard:
Meathead: I don't why but he just won't buy her a ring yet.
Hotguy: They've been together a while.
Meathead: Yeah
Hotguy: Well you know once he goes there is going be a domino effect there are going to about 8 of them that go
Meathead: I remember when we sophomores and we were in class the one day and he said to me 'I hope I meet the love of my life this year'.
Hotguy:
Meathead: I hope it happens to me
Hotguy: Me too.
Now let me clairify that these two were in no way sarcastic or poking fun or sounding like their friend is entering into a ball and chain scenario. I was texting my friend that I was overhearing the funniest conversation, I've never heard guys talk like this! I figured they were an anomaly.
Enter 3 more guys all of the hot. They were not associated with the first 2.
Dark hair boy: Alicia came back to my room last night. NOTHING happened. (his tone was serious, not disappointed. More convincing.
Other two boys:
Dark hair boy: I didn't know she was seeing that Kevin. If I knew that I wouldn't have let her stay.
Shaved head boy: I think I knew that. I would have said something.
Then they went on and on about Alicia and Sarah and Katie. Not about sports or drinking or anything. and the conversation was never locker room talk. Always just telling a story. No one was busting anyone. Nothing. Weird
2 more guys come not as good looking they were friends with the first two.
The one says: Now I have to expose my fat
The other: Oh your not that bad. After the week you had its understandable all you've been eating was pizza and stromboli. You've been stressed out.
The one to the Hotguy: Yeah what about you. You look anorexic, eat something
Hotguy: I do eat. I just think eatings a waste of time. I'd rather be doing other things. I try to eat healthy all week and then on weekends I'm just whatever.
Where was I? What happend to guys who were committmentphobic and didn't want kids. Now they are all about marriage and family and all with one girl. And more and more girls are about not getting married don't know if they want kids and think that guys who want only them are smoothering them. Its weird this post-Sex and the City world.
Just a fun little story for everyone. When I was telling my friends they were like "what is wrong with them? We don't even talk like that and we're girls.

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I guess my point is that I KNOW guys want sex and would miss that in the middle of the desert.
So, I think maybe the issue is that guys might talk to each other like this, but maybe women don't believe it because they're not talking to us like this?
I'm not sure, hence the question mark.
There has to be some reason that we think these conversations are so shocking. Again, it's very refreshing and does give me hope that a man might actually care enough about me at some point to talk to his friends that way.
AJ, enjoying life with C.
Sure they do--or at least some have these conversations with their female friends at least. These conversations don't really surprise me because of my experiences with male platonic friends, as I posted to Shy last week.
Sheri
>>I guess my point is that I KNOW guys want sex and would miss that in the middle of the desert. I'd want to know he was missing ME, not just what my body can give him.<<
If I read elwood right, he said: "family, love, friends, a hot shower .. . lol . . all these things are what you start to think and talk about."
So, he was talking about how they long for - and talk about - something more than sex. They miss the love of their family (wife/girlfriend implied) and friends.
AJ, enjoying life with C.
So who is doing the majority of the approaching? And what kind of men are you meeting?
I am doing the approaching.
True. I guess I haven't had any close male friends since college (wish I did). When I think back to conversations with them, and these were men in their early 20s with raging hormones, they DID talk to me about the women they liked in this way. (Yes, they talked about how hot Britney Spears was as well, but with women they really liked, there was more respect in their voices and comments). They did worry about calling, where to take her on a date, talked fondly about her little quirks, etc.
Maybe my memory is just failing when I say I'm shocked at the conversations. My less-than-stellar dating life since college has probably made me a little too jaded and I need to give these guys the benefit of the doubt. I'd have a better outlook if I just assumed the guy did have good intentions and thought about me as often as I did him - and said good things about me behind my back. :)
AJ, enjoying life with C.
***I'd want to know he was missing ME, not just what my body can give him.***
I have seen grown men crying like a baby over a dear john, because SHE wanted sex. That is an ADULT need, every one misses it. What makes you think we are incapable of missing you? (-: Painfully, desperately missing a woman loved at home. I felt for the married guys, gone 6 months to a year at a time. They had it hard, and many lost wife's because THEY could not wait. I Have seen plenty of the flip side of this coin. This is one I am willing to debate toe to toe. (-: I have seen to many fierce Marines cry over the women they loved. Very "hard" men.
And how do you ever know what he misses, at some point you just have to trust what you see and hear . . and hope you are right. Same for us in the end.
>>They had it hard, and many lost wives because THEY could not wait.<<
I have a dear friend who is a Marine. He got one of those "dear johns" during his last tour in Iraq, and he was truly devastated. He loved her and their kids more than anything, and she found someone else while he was away.
AJ, enjoying life with C.
**So, I think maybe the issue is that guys might talk to each other like this, but maybe women don't believe it because they're not talking to us like this? **
Honestly, how do you react to men who do? Men are not in a hurry to be perceived as "wimpy". Not taking any shots . . however, how uncommon is that reaction? .. the feeling "something" is a little off with "that guy". Again, just thoughts . . I just know the kind of people I "chose" to associate with are kind of like this for the most part. I know a few "hunters" .. . but it is rare you find me out with them.
What makes you think we are incapable of missing you?
Because I haven't experienced it.
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