NEED ADVICE

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2003
NEED ADVICE
3
Wed, 10-22-2003 - 4:01pm
OK, here is the story. I'm 23 years old I met this guy (32 years) online he lives in NY I live in Georgia, he talked on the phone for about 2 months every day for a hours and hours. Last month he came to her to see me, we finally seen eachother for the first time. Everything was good, I was attracted to him he was attracted to me. We spend the weekend at my house and we both had a great time. When we talked on the phone he told me he had fallen in love with me and he wanted to be with me, ok, the day he was living he told me he wanted to see me again I told him offcourse by the middle of the week when he went back home things started to change he did not call as ofter and I finally decided to ask him what was the matter and he told me there is nothing we can do about a relationship right now because we live in different states and that we are not at the point of moving together (which never crossed my mind)Anyway, I decided not to call him anymore and he does not call either. Well I found out I'm pregnant yesterday and (by the way we used a condom at all times)I thought it was the right thing to let him know since is his, anyway I told him and he told me: you know what you have to do we cannot have a baby right now you will destroy both our lives and I told him I was not considering abortion at this moment since I'm very confused and dont know what to do. I dont know what to do, since I feel having the baby or not having it is a decision we both have to make since it will tied us down for live. Guys please give me your opionion and advice on this. If I decide to have the baby is it really fair for him he told him if I decided to have the baby there is no way he wont be there for the baby, he said he has to be there for the baby but is it really fair for me to make that choice for him. What should I do. On the other hand I'm only 23 years old I'm goig thru police academy right now and I'll be done in January. What do I do. I just spoke to him again, and I told him that if I make the decision to keep the baby that I wont force him to be there and he said that he would be there for the kid financially and he would want visitation rights and he said he will be there for the baby. Please help me. PS: IM NOT TELLING PEOPLE TO MAKE A DECISION FOR ME I'M JUST ASKING FOR ADVICE SO PLEASE DONT TELL ME "I CANT MAKE THAT DECISION YOU HAVE TO MAKE IT" I KNOW I JUST NEED ADVICE

Avatar for schnappsers
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: yvonnenyc
Wed, 10-22-2003 - 4:07pm
My only advice to you would be to go to someone more qualified to help you through this situation. I'd recommend speaking with a counselor rather than looking for advice on a messageboard. This is a huge life-changing situation and I think you need to seek advice from someone trained to help people work through such situations.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: yvonnenyc
Wed, 10-22-2003 - 5:16pm
are you certain you're pregnant? the odds of getting pregnant while using a condom are pretty slim...

first, see a counsellor.

second, see a doctor.

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
In reply to: yvonnenyc
Wed, 10-22-2003 - 5:56pm

I'm kind of opinionated on this subject, so bare with me, okay?