need advice on a guy scenario
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| Mon, 06-26-2006 - 11:06am |
so i went out friday night for some drinks with some friends. My cousins boyfriend was there with a guy who i thought was cute. We ended up talking and did so for the rest of night. It was obviously towards the end that we were interested in each other. At one point his friend was drunk, so was my cousin so he asked me if i wanted to go somewhere else. I was a little hesitant, but agreed. We walked around a bit, then he asked me if i'd like to go on a date sometime. I said i would.
He had taken a cab into the city so i offered to drive him home. There were a lot of detours in the city getting home and i really had to go to the bathroom and needed gas. We stopped at a gas station, i went, he filled my car up with a full tank which i thought was really nice.
So i drove him to his place with really no intentions of what was going to happen. I went in, we watched some tv, then ended up making out on the couch. He asked if i wanted to stay, it was 2am, i said i should leave. But i really wanted to stay...so i did. We slept in his bed but all we did was make out...there was no touching below the waist on either of us, i slept fully clothed. We talked a lot, we woke up at 8am this morning, talked in bed for about 3 hours, he was asking questions about my last relationships, just a lot about myself which seemed sincere. Then we got up ate breakfast, sat on the couch, made out more.
THings started to get tricky when he picked up my phone, called his phone, then said, there you have my #, now you have to call. I jokingly said i didnt want to be the one to call, he said, why not, are you not interested in seeing me again, i said i was, but would rather he call. He didnt see what the big deal was about me just calling. He then called my phone, left a voicemail saying, that he had called me, now i needed to call back...am i being weird about this? I figured, oh whatever i'll just call him, if he didnt want to speak to me again, i suppose he wouldnt have made any comments about phone #'s, putting my # in his phone, etc. He made several comments throughout the day about how he wanted to go out again, thought we'd hit it off, etc. I felt pretty good about things. I left at about 2pm and figured i'd call him monday or tuesday this week
So i wake up on sunday morning and see that he had texted me, it said, so you were too good to come over last night? I thought it was odd...i wrote back about 4 hours later and said, should i have just shown up at your door? He wrote back, well at least called, i wrote back something like, well i figured youd had enuf of me for one day (haha) plus you said you were going out with friends. I didnt hear back from him and i started to overanalyze. Did he think i was rude for not calling? so i called him last night. First i got his VM, left a message, then he called back (i was on the other line) so he left me a message, then i called him, and got him. We talked for about a half hour, seemed fine, a few moments of silence, but nothing really awkward. He finally said he was goign to get back to his reading, i felt relieved because i was ready to get off the phone too. But he said nothing about going out this week, nothing like, ok well i'll give you a call this week, just have a good day tomorrow.
I'm confused. Is he interested? to me an interested party would have asked me out especially since i made the call. I know it was only sunday, maybe he had no clue what he was doing this week? at one point he asked what i had planned for the week, anything going on in the evenings, i said nothing, then stupidly said that i dont really go out much during the week. UGH. But dont you think if were for 'real' after his talk on saturday about wanting to out again, he would have last night just asked me out or at least said, he'd call me this week??

He probably has no problem with you coming back to his place, though.
I'd be careful and try not to invest too much with this guy. Something smells fishy.
girl, i get where you are coming from, i will answer some of ur 'over analyzed questions' and then ill vent my own problema cuz i need advice as well. it sounds like you have met a great guy and someone who has respect and is a gentleman. maybe staying at his place was a little fast, then agian if you hit it off that well with someone then i dont see a huge problem, you didnt have sex either which means that u two havent started a 'just physical' relationship. His whole # thing doesnt seem weird to me. i think he was just trying to be joking and throwing the ball into your court. i mean he did deff make alot of moves so perhaps he was just giving you a chance to make one to validate his worries about how much you liked him? I say he seems interested, VERY interested and maybe you should call him up and ask him to hang out or go get dinner or drinks... men love confidance and he is probably excited and nervous about this new relationship just as much as you are. i hope that helps!
Now, i must explain my dilemma since men have confused me sooo much i barely can tell anything anymore. i hope if anyone reads this they can give it to me straight un-sugar coated. I met this guy about 8 months ago. at the time he had a gf, so i didnt expect anything to come of it....he left for a period of about 3 months to persue a career opportunity, we talked online thru that time (and he had a diff gf by now) when he returned to my home town we started to see each other out and about and chatted when we did see each other. Then in late may he invited himself to come and watch fireworks with me and my family - we had had some sexual innuendo converstaions online before but i never gave him the idea that if he came over i would sleep with him. So we spent the night talking and hanging out with my family. A couple of weeks later he showed up at a play production i did, he came alone and knew no one there. after my performance we sat and talked and laughed and watched the rest of the plays. Then a few more weeks passed and he called me up asking if he could stop by for an hour. ofcousrse i said and we sat on my bed watching a movie...we mostly talked about family, careers, everyting and thne he kissed me. i kissed him back and we madeout for 2 hours...this was accompanyed by him hugging me, kissing my face, holding my hand...very cuddly and ive never expereinced that before..i always had the horndogs lol...so when he left he said he would talk to me later...we were busy the next couple days and then i decided to invite him over to celebrate the ending of our exam week. when i ran into him i aksed if was still coming over and he said he couldnt, i left for the weekend and we spoke once since the day we kissed. Finally, (since im moving) i asked him if he wanted to aknowlege what happend, he replyed "huh?" and i said that i liked him and that he could do what he wanted with that inofrmation but i was leaving town soon for good and i wanted him to know that. he answered with "what are you talking about?" mad and saddned by the fact that he was pretending nothing happend i didnt reply...now im stuck in limbo, i like him ALOT and yet im leaving and i dont want to leave and wait for something that will never happen, so should i just forget him all together? or have a little faith that not all men are womanizers?
well it definitely sounds like your guy is flakey. I'd be hurt that he seemed to not want to discuss what had happened or he acted like nothing happened. I guess i'd honestly let this one go. Sounds like you stayed in contact while he was away, hoped things would work out in your favor when he got home...it sounds like he thinks of you as more than a friend...but for me after all this time it wouldnt be enough. He isnt open to talking about where things are going and like you said, he's leaving. It doesnt mean he is a womanizer, it just seems that his mind is elsewhere. When it's the two of you alone, sure he wants to make out and be all cuddly...but then after it sounds like becomes preoccupied with other things that dont include you ): I would let him be...if it's meant to be, it will be
As for my situation, i dont know for sure that he's very interested at this point. he seemed it when we were talking on saturday...but i was a little annoyed that he didnt say that he'd call me or anything when we hung up. Like i said before, i think the ball is in his court now...if anything maybe i'll send him a text at the end of the week asking him what's up. At one point on satruday i asked him what he'd do if i just got up and left saying i'm not interested in you (we were kind joking and asking each other silly questions) he said he'd feel confused since we seem to be hitting it off. So i dont know...i am not confused at his lack of asking me to hang out last night on the phone or at least saying, i'll you this week...
If a guy is interested in a relationship, he will call and ask you out on a date.
Be very, very careful with this guy. I dated someone like him--he wanted me to do everything, eventually asked me to pay for almost everything, and was always putting me down--but he did it in such a manipulative way as to make me feel there was something wrong with me. This guy needs to put in some effort. You should not have to be asked to work for his time! It already sounds like he's playing games so definitely don't sleep with him. Whatta jerk!
>So i drove him to his place with really
>no intentions of what was going to happen.
Why do women pretend to be dumb?