Need advice....PLEASE!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2005
Need advice....PLEASE!!!
13
Fri, 10-21-2005 - 10:36am
O.k....I'm going to make this as short as possible. I met this guy at the gym. He's a trainer. We started talking about two months ago. He asked me out soon after we met. He wanted to go out right then & there. I turned him down because I didn't know him. He gave me his phone number a few days later & asked me to call him so I did. He insisted that I call him...he didn't want my number. Anyway...we started talking almost every night for a few hours each night. I told him some personal things that I don't really ever share with anyone. He hasn't told me much about himself. He calls me less now. We talk on the phone a couple times a week. We don't talk at the gym anymore because he got in trouble for talking to me so much. So, when I see him at the gym, we just smile at each other. It's kinda weird. Anyway...when we talk now sometimes he gets kinda weird. Like the other night...he started asking me about sex. He knows I'm a virgin. He asked me if I had "urges" and if I'm "curious about it." I basically didn't answer him. I think it sort of makes him mad that I don't want to talk about it. I told him that I shouldn't have told him all that personal stuff about myself. He said that it doesn't bother him and that "you know I like you." I asked him if I pissed him off and he told me that I was "giving him a headache." We've been talking for 2 months. We haven't been on a date. He hasn't even asked me out again! What should I do?? Any advice??

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Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Fri, 10-21-2005 - 10:43am

It sounds like you have a friend that may want to provide some extra "benefits" on the side.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Fri, 10-21-2005 - 11:03am

It sounds like he's not really interested in anything more than sex.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
Fri, 10-21-2005 - 11:38am

>It sounds like he's not really interested
>in anything more than sex

Absolutely!

>the guys who knew it all wanted to be my "first."

This man wants the same thing.

****DON'T EVER HAVE SEX WITH THIS MAN****

>Try to move on from him - there are lots of other
>guys out there who will be more genuinely interested
>in more than just sex from you.

Agree.

****DON'T EVER HAVE SEX WITH THIS MAN****

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2005
Sun, 10-23-2005 - 4:14pm

I also asked him the other day why he started talking to me in the first place...why me?? He said, "It was totally random...it's my job to meet people & start talking to them." Yet, initially he had told me that he had been "watching me" since I joined the gym. What does THAT mean??

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2005
Sun, 10-23-2005 - 10:42pm
Cut him loose. He is intrigued by your virgin status. If he was truly interested in a relationship with you, he would have asked you out by now. Keep your options open. There are plenty of great guys out there.

For great dating advice go to:
http://www.seduction-hypnosis.com
Caterina is a published author and founder of stillagirl.com - a positive place for women and girls. For free dating tips go to: http://www.seduction-hypnosis.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2005
Mon, 10-24-2005 - 5:31pm

If he was truly interested in a relationship with you, he would have asked you out by now.

He did ask me out...twice....I turned him down...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
Mon, 10-24-2005 - 5:57pm
he wants to get laid point blank..be glad he isn`t asking you out because he will just kick you to the curb IF you have sex with him...this is how guys are,they ask women out for mainly one reason and try to charm you..if a guy RESPECTS you and isnt just looking for a fling..he will want to hang out play pool see a movie etc...of course my ex was like that and he turned into the biggest jerk..but anyway...maybe you shouldn`t tell a guy your virgin status right away..see how he acts to you at first..ya know?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2005
Mon, 10-24-2005 - 6:21pm

...maybe you shouldn`t tell a guy your virgin status right away..see how he acts to you at first..ya know?

I didn't tell him right away. I just told him a week or two ago....he's the one that came on to ME and asked ME out...I turned him down...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Mon, 10-24-2005 - 6:50pm
Regardless if he asked you out more than once, he isn't now. Regardless if he knew you were a virgin or not, I still think he wanted to have sex. What does it mean that he was eyeing you before you even met?? It means he was attracted to you. That's it. He sounds like a HUGE egomaniac, point and blank. Stay far away from this man! Or I actually mean boy.....
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Tue, 10-25-2005 - 3:17pm
Somehow I feel you kinda like him.
If he knows you are virgin, some men act differently: Kind I, they would like to try "virgin" it's more exicted for them, Kind II, they will try not get too much with you, b/c they dont' like to take anyr responsibilities to be the first one; Kind III, treasure you, usually this kind would wait for you until you are married with him. So what kind he is, who knows, if he asks you out, then don't turn him down, or maybe give him some hint to ask you out, but don't get too deep with it, and remeber, DO NOT have sex with him, do not give your first to a wrong guy, unless you don't care.


Edited 10/25/2005 3:18 pm ET by dayaftertomorrow

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