in need of some help

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
in need of some help
Tue, 07-22-2003 - 12:21am
Hi I have not posted here in a long time. I have been single for almost 15 months now. My x-husband has been in a relathionship for 14 months now. I live in WA he lives in AK so I am a single parent. Our daughter is with me 24/7 and i like it. The problem is I am still single. I so badly want someone in my life. I have met a couple of guys but it has never worked out. Within the last couple of months I met a guy that is 35 I am 23 so ya there is an age difference. But I really like him. He is really sweet he really seems to care. So I have asked him out a couple of times and he has been busy with work. So today I got 2 tickets to a ball game and asked him if he wanted to go he said yes. How do I know if he really wants to go??? I have not been in this possition in such a long time. He is the grounds keeper at my apartment so I see him all the time. He always asks what is up and always stops and talks to me. I feel like I am in high school again. I really don't know what to do about the way I feel. I just don't know what to do. I am trying to just be his friend. Just say hi when I see him and that kind of thing. Does any one have any sugestions??? I dont want to ruin what could be something. I really like this guy. Tahnks for any suggestions. Kaylee
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-22-2003 - 12:35am
i'm of the opinion that a guy will show you if he's interested and if he doesn't because he's too shy, then he's not worth dating.

by asking him out, you've pretty much spelled out your intentions... the ball's in his court now.

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Tue, 07-22-2003 - 8:12am
I agree with Thim. You've asked him out, now it's his turn to show some interest. If he doesn't, well, NEXT!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2003
Wed, 07-23-2003 - 10:12am
I think you're reacting to your X's having a relationship already: he's got someone to love (you think), and you don't. Plus, you're fooling yourself about this man: if you "just want to be his friend," why would you ask him out to a ball game if you weren't so overly concerned about gaining his attention? Be honest w/yourself, realize that you have a romantic interest in this man, and this is your gesture toward a date.

You've already made an overture, and he's accepted; it's just a ball game. If thereafter he's interested, he'll let you know; if he's not, you'll know it. I think you should concentrate on your own life right now, especially that of your daughter; she's been through a lot as well.

If possible, get some therapy; you can find free or low-cost therapists through state or county mental health agencies. I say this b/c, at ages 23 and 38, that's a huge difference not just in age, but in stages of life and attitude. He's probably old enough and tired enough to be a little blase about romance, while you aren't. It's not your fault; it's just that age thing.

But don't get too worked up over this; sometimes a cigar is just a cigar (unless you're Monica Lewinsky).