Need Suggestions

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2007
Need Suggestions
3
Tue, 07-24-2007 - 2:57am
Okay, I am in my mid-20s and I am single. I have a job that I enjoy and a great/supportive family. My problem is that I feel like all areas in my life are going well except for, suprise, my relational life. I have had serious/long-term relationships in the past that did not work out. I am over them and have analyzed each one to death and thus learned from them. I have been single for about one year now and I feel stuck. My life is odd right now because I have chosen to move in with my parents (yikes!) temporarily to save money and also because I recently moved back home from graduate school which was out of state for me. As a result of this recent move, my friendship circle is almost non-existent. Most of my friends do not live where I live now, so I feel as though I don't have anyone to go out and do things with. Also, because I am lacking a social network right now, I don't even feel I have the means to even start meeting men/dating even though I want to. In the past I usually met men through my friends....now I feel like anything I want to do I have to go at alone! Most people tell me to join clubs, volunteer, do online dating (which I do not like the idea of) etc., but this seems so hard when I am so busy with just work alone! Can anyone relate to my highly transitional experience or does anyone have any new innovative ideas of how I can break out and create a new social life for myself?...or perhaps am I complaining about nothing and need to shut up and look at what I DO have?
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Tue, 07-24-2007 - 11:13am

The last time I moved to a brand new place with no friends, I didn't date at all.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2007
Tue, 07-24-2007 - 3:31pm
Thank you for the response :) Yes, there are people at work I have met, but most people in my line of work are women who are older. The younger women around my age unfortunately have boyfriends or are married, so they are not on the same page as me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2007
Tue, 07-24-2007 - 9:24pm

How long have you been living with your parents? I realize that you're interested in meeting someone in town, but just think of the embarassment of having that first kiss with your dad on the other side of the door! Right now, I would focus on getting the finances together to get your own place. Once you're on your own, then you can really focus on the dating scene. Plus, if you're looking anytime in the future for a serious relationship, a man will give you alot more consideration if you are self-sufficient.

I recently got divorced after 8 years of marriage. It was the best decision I've made in a long time. Now, part of the divorce was me moving out into my own place. I absolutely love the privacy I have. I can do whatever I want, when I want. If I want to bring a man home, then I can without reprisal. I haven't had too much time with any of my friends this summer, so I've been on my own for alot of my free time. I've tried some new classes at the gym and have joined a dining club at my church.

If you're not too keen on the other advice, I would suggest you start hounding your younger friends. You say that most of them have boyfriends or are married. Don't their husbands/boyfriends have single friends? Odds are the answer is yes! Maybe one of your friends can host a small party or maybe a movie night and invite you and one of the guy's friends over. Maybe ya'll can all meet for drinks somewhere after work.